January 1st, 2018 18:20 EST
What Will Pedophile Judge Roy Moore Do With the Rest of His Life?
After losing his Senate bid in the most Republican state in the country to a Democrat, what is Judge Roy Moore, 71, going to do until the Grim Reaper drags him away to hell?
Well we know what he will probably be doing on Sundays: Teaching Sunday School to prepubescent girls. While normal parents would never let the pedophile get within 50 yards of their daughters, the Bible-thumping parents of Alabama will be fighting each other to enroll their daughters in the limited seats available for Moore`s class.
But what will the child molester do on weekdays?
He could make a killing in his Woody cowboy outfit, and brandishing his tiny pistol at gay parties, gays really go for that campy shi*. I know the judge is virulently anti-gay, but methinks he might enjoy the attention of gay gentlemen. Too many anti-gay Republican politicians have turned out to be closeted gays.
Moore may be anathema in polite society, but evangelicals still have a hard-on for him, and he can always find employment in the evangelical world.
Moore could be employed as a carnival barker at the Ark Encounter, a fundamentalist theme park whose centerpiece is a full-scale model of Noah`s Ark.
Moore is a horse`s ass, but he sure ain`t a horseman. He could work as a rodeo clown, the country hicks would get a kick out of watching Moore attempt to ride his horse Sassy.
He could form a country Gospel trio with his wife Kayla and his horse Sassy. The horse`s braying would hopefully drown out Moore and his spouse, and who wouldn`t enjoy the spectacle?
I promise this will be my final Roy Moore article, I just couldn`t resist making fun of the pedophile one more time.
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