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Published:January 1st, 2018 18:20 EST
asshole

What Will Pedophile Judge Roy Moore Do With the Rest of His Life?

By Robert Paul Reyes

After losing his Senate bid in the most Republican state in the country to a Democrat, what is Judge Roy Moore, 71, going to do until the Grim Reaper drags him away to hell?

asshole

Well we know what he will probably be doing on Sundays: Teaching Sunday School to prepubescent girls. While normal parents would never let the pedophile get within 50 yards of their daughters, the Bible-thumping parents of Alabama will be fighting each other to enroll their daughters in the limited seats available for Moore`s class.

But what will the child molester do on weekdays?

He could make a killing in his Woody cowboy outfit, and brandishing his tiny pistol at gay parties, gays really go for that campy shi*. I know the judge is virulently anti-gay, but methinks he might enjoy the attention of gay gentlemen. Too many anti-gay Republican politicians have turned out to be closeted gays.

Moore may be anathema in polite society, but evangelicals still have a hard-on for him, and he can always find employment in the evangelical world.

Moore could be employed as a carnival barker at the Ark Encounter, a fundamentalist theme park whose centerpiece is a full-scale model of Noah`s Ark.

Moore is a horse`s ass, but he sure ain`t a horseman. He could work as a rodeo clown, the country hicks would get a kick out of watching Moore attempt to ride his horse Sassy.

He could form a country Gospel trio with his wife Kayla and his horse Sassy. The horse`s braying would hopefully drown out Moore and his spouse, and who wouldn`t enjoy the spectacle?

I promise this will be my final Roy Moore article, I just couldn`t resist making fun of the pedophile one more time.

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Link to homepage of Robert Paul Reyes: http://robertpaulreyes.com/