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Published:February 28th, 2018 18:08 EST

Awkward: Donald Trump Massages Mike Pence's Thigh During Billy Graham Memorial Service

By Robert Paul Reyes

"During a memorial service for the late Reverend Billy Graham in the Capitol Rotunda on Wednesday, President Trump, in a rare display of public affection, reached over his wife Melania to place a firm, but gentle hand on Mike Pence`s thigh. Pence looked as comfortable with the president`s touch as you`d imagine, his mouth squeezed tightly shut, his hands gripping the hem of his suit jacket.


Was it a gesture of reassurance? A warning? We may never know. I would like to know how Karen felt about it, though."

The Cut

I`m not surprised that Trump reached over his wife Melania and placed his tiny hand on Pence`s upper thigh, he knows darn well that if he had placed his hand anywhere on Melania`s body, she would have swatted the disgusting little thing.

Pence is a devout evangelical and perhaps Trump was only trying to console his Vice President on the death of the evangelical icon, or maybe he was just screwing with him. But one thing is sure: Those were the longest moments in the life of the noted homophobe.

After the memorial service Pence probably retreated to his prayer closet and uttered this prayer:

Lord I can resist an ugly orange baboon when he touches my thigh, but please don`t let Jared Kushner caress my thigh lest I become a sodomite.

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