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Published:February 4th, 2019 17:57 EST
pork-chop

Woman Batters Boyfriend With Frozen Pork Chop

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A Florida Woman is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly clobbering her boyfriend in the face with a frozen pork chop during a dispute Friday night in their residence.

pork-chop

Cops allege that Jennifer Brassard, 48, and her beau were `engaged in a verbal argument` around 9:45 PM when Brassard `threw a frozen pork chop at the victim.` The pork chop, a criminal complaint notes, struck the man below the left eye, causing a half-inch laceration.

After getting hit with the pork chop, the victim fled the couple`s home."

The Smoking Gun

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

When life curses you with a girlfriend who throws a frozen pork chop at your face, put the pork chop on your face to promote healing.

Then threaten to kick the wench to the curb if she ever acts out violently again, and finally demand she cook your pork chop. I love me some pork chops, and a pork chop should never go to waste.

But never, under any circumstances, run away like a terrified school girl when your old lady chunks a pork chop at you. This coward`s man card should be confiscated and returned only when he manages to grow a pair.

The wimp wasn`t identified by the police to protect his reputation, and the violent girlfriend was jailed on a domestic battery charge.

Read More:

http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/pork-chop-battery-780129

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Link to homepage of Robert Paul Reyes: http://robertpaulreyes.com