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Published:May 20th, 2007 08:56 EST
He and She

He and She

By Carolee Kaufold

He cooks, she cleans. She reads everything, he studies everything. He is tall, she is short. She likes musicals, he likes country. He does the gardening, she knits. She hates going in the car, he hates driving over bridges. He has straight hair, she has freckles.

He had siblings, she was an only child. He wanted 2 children, she wanted 6 - they had 4. His parents loved each other, her parents liked each other. She wanted to live in a penthouse, he wanted to live on a farm. He likes warm weather, she likes hot weather. She likes to dance, he likes to walk. He likes to go to the mall, she likes to people watch.

He is skinny, she is chubby. She has blond hair, he has black hair. He smokes, she eats ice cream. She likes to read e-mail, he likes to surf the web. He likes to find stuff on the net, she likes to write a column on the net. She likes to sightsee, he likes to swim. He likes NASCAR, she likes Dancing With the Stars.

Two very different people, who are crazy about each other. Do opposites attract? Oh, yeah! I have been married for almost 42 years. What we have in common far out weighs our differences. We share the same goals. We have the same hopes and dreams. We give each other the space to grow on our own. We do not suffocate each other. We have worked together in the same office 5 days a week. We live in the same house 24/7 since we moved to
Florida. He doesn`t have to be sitting next to me. I don`t have to watch him do everything. We give each other plenty of space. When he goes out on an errand he always asks me to join him. When I go for the mail in the Golf Cart, I like him by my side. When he is not here, I miss him. When I am away from home, he is lonely. We still get goose bumps when we hug.

We believe in God. We love our sons. We love Ireland. We hold hands when we watch fireworks. We like to listen to talk radio. We love to go on cruises. We would love to rent a home in Bermuda. We love to spend money. We laugh at each other`s jokes. We like clam sauce and spaghetti. We could do without waiting in lines. We are good for each other. We are good to each other.

What makes a relationship work? Respect? Trust? Love? Humor? All of these things. It is a touch, and look. It is feeling your heart skip with joy when your spouse is about to come home. It is seeing a smile on their face when they return. It is the mid-morning call to check on your day. It is the pat on your back when you really need it. It is the feeling you will never be a failure in your partner`s eyes. It`s the way the sun lights them up, from a doorway. It is the fact that you can say anything to them and they will finish your sentence. It is thinking a thought and having them have the same thought.

Is everyone that lucky? I hope so. I hope that in each life, we find someone that lets us be ourselves, yet wants us to be their partner. I have been told by some people they are happy to be on their own. They like not having to wait around for someone else to go out when they want to, and to eat when they feel like it. Well, let them write their own story!

This is my point of view. And from where I stand, it looks pretty good. Am I saying that we have to be paired off? No, not at all. What I am saying is, it makes us feel good when we are pleased by and can please others. We are a nation of givers and we like to give our hearts and souls. When we give, we get so much back. More than we ever expected. Every time I gave from my heart, my soul was blessed. Every time, my soul sang, my spirit flew. We need to be needed and we need to be loved.