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Published:February 16th, 2008 10:33 EST
A Memoir of Love: Onyx Princess

A Memoir of Love: Onyx Princess

By Rex Owen Waide, Jr.

I was unsure which feeling was the right one to focus on. I can remember my heart pounding for reasons I have never before known. Anticipation to continue with the night, and anxiety to end it before it truly started, forced me into an emotional holocaust. Driving down the street with my close friend, Ryan, I felt a slight ease wash over me as the conversation stirred. The flow of passers-by waved by the sides of the truck indicating the speed of the vehicle by way of my leaden foot. The personification of my dialogue bubbles from my mouth to converge with Ryan’s in the polluted air of the neighborhood. My leaden foot multiplies the speed of the vehicle; our conversation has engaged out of nervousness and uncertainty; the beginning of night emerged with every foot we travel--I panic.

The squeal from the brakes shakes me from my dreaming state. For a brief moment, I was not driving, not dressed in a suit and tie, not approaching the vulnerability of committing myself to a relationship; I was home. Dressed in my football shorts and a T-shirt, I sat back watching television as it drained my mind of thoughts. Thoughts lead to worries, which then, in turn, lead to insecurities. A time when thoughts prove to be obsolete is a time of tranquility and a pseudo-hope, but hope nonetheless, that life will turn out as every one wishes for themselves. I am not at home. The brakes did squeal, Ryan stood outside the truck waiting for me to exit, and the door to commitment stood only yards away.

Every sound reverberating in the atmosphere lingered in the air for me to hear and absorb in its entirety. Nothing from my surroundings escaped me. I was susceptible to every noise in my ears, every taste on the tip of my tongue, every smell stinging my nostrils, every gust of wind and swirling dust around my body. Nonetheless, my emotions grew numb as my feet carried me closer to the door. My heart stopped beating, my temples stopped pulsating, and my breath stopped inflating my lungs. Life as I knew it, at that moment, was ending. Freedom of my human condition was an immeasurable privilege slowly being pulled away by hands that had no body.

Before the mountains of knuckles from my hand collided with the steel grating of the door, I faintly heard the locks unfold. As the clicks, of premeditated movement of metal against metal, engaged, my heart erupted. Blood filled my veins causing the temples of my head to bubble under my skin; a surge of oxygen swelled my once deprived lungs. It was the moment when I realized my life was beginning--I found the concept of living.

Her eyes had the glow of onyx. A glimmer in her hair gave the brief recognition of ruby. The beauty of rare diamonds surfaced in my mind as her smile broke through my cloud of insecurity giving me true-hope.

“You shaved! I like when you shave. Your beard gets too scratchy.” She spoke to me with casual words as if she was not an undiscovered princess, but a normal girl. I gave no mind to the likings of Ryan or even the fact we were in an ordinary house. With her beauty I saw only a kingdom behind her. The pillars of royalty with flowering capitals sitting atop them, led into a hypostyle hall. Exotic fabrics and colors illuminated the world and oozed from the surreal flowers sprouting around the architectural marvel. From the clerestory, pink light shined upon the undiscovered princess. Sun was far too ordinary to be a light that illuminated extraordinary beauty. The sky burned a beautiful pinkish hue.

“Are you okay?” Ryan shook my shoulder dragging me out of my beauty enticed hypnosis.

“I’m…yeah. I’m alright.” Alas, the beautiful pink from the sky washed away like water running down a watercolor painting. The beauty of the kingdom behind my beloved vanished. Nevertheless, the undiscovered princess still stood before me with the same beauty and elegance with which I originally viewed her. However, she was no longer undiscovered. I discovered this princess; she was mine.