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Published:March 17th, 2010 17:04 EST

The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big, Round Things, another girl's rant

By Tony Graff

In the book The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things, Virginia Shreves gives us an inside look at what life must be like to be plus sized. If such is the case, then we should change the phrase from "going postal" to "going plus sized." 

the butt
We start the adventure with her talking about, of all things, s(e)xuality. Which in this case is narrowed down to her sort-of boyfriend named Froggy letting his hand wander around under her shirt. Usually I admire unbiased truth, but this information is comes with the number one rule of the fat girl code of conduct, as she called it: Take it when you can get it. I think Jack Sparrow said almost the exact same thing at the end of At World`s End. 

She is further made the dramatic heroine by a couple page long descriptions of everyone else in her family and how perfect they are. She even goes so far as to say that if she left, they would have the perfect family. 

The majority of the book is spent with her striking out and doing whatever she wants, despite any advice from others. Her sister suggests a simple rule fro intimacy, and that pretty much gets ignored. Her mom offers advice about body and image, which usually should be listened to since she is an adolescent psychologist, and that gets thrown out. 

All in all, the book wasn`t really enjoyable to read. There probably are a bunch of people out there shaking their heads and saying that it is because I am a guy, and don`t appreciate literature that shows the female scope of things. While that may be mostly true, I enjoy and have read many books by female authors that focus on the female perspective. Meg Cabot and Donna Jo Napoli are among my favorites. Reading The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things was page after page of a rant that probably wouldn`t be listened to anywhere else. Not because it isn`t spoken, but because no one wants to hear it. 

Everyone, whether they are 20 pounds or 200, will have those defining moments where they act for themselves, triumph all by themselves, and make stupid choices all by themselves. We cement our individuality at some point in our lives, and that moment is epic for us. There simply is no reason why it`s even more special just because you have more to love. 

If you are plus sized, you may find this book enjoyable. Otherwise, I wouldn`t recommend reading it.