Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:October 13th, 2008 09:54 EST
Brown Nose Academy: A learning center for serious professionals

Brown Nose Academy: A learning center for serious professionals

By Simon Bailey (Mentor/Columnist)

O` Brilliant One (that would be you) there is a virtual post-graduate institution that teaches only one subject " Career Insurance. Those who master the complicated subject eventually fire themselves from their job and rehire their talents, gifts and ability under the brand You, Inc.  Are you shocked? Hold onto your seats. When Wall Street analyzes a stock they issue a buy, hold, or warning decision based on past performance, present day value, and future potential.  The action a company takes everyday will decide its future worth.

As the CEO of You, Inc, you decided to take your assets (education, experience, energy, and relationships) and be acquired by a parent company that pays you in the form of a paycheck and benefits.  What enables them to keep your neck off of the guillotine of reduction in force is your performance and productivity. Yes, everyone is watching you. Don`t even think for a minute that your boss is asleep at the wheel. He or She is watching you. The information technology department is watching your computer activity. Your cubicle and office mates are watching you.

Since you intend to matriculate through Brown Nose Academy at broadband speed, there are some CIP`s (Creative Insight Procedures) that will keep you relevant and attractive in every economy.

  1. Raise your hand to cross pollinate in other departments. In 1919, Clement Watt, CEO of Watt Industries was a great American industrialist and philanthropist, and was wealthier than Andrew Carnegie. He said to his employees when you join Watt Industries, you will have no job. You must think of your employment as a journey from place to place within the world of diverse occupations. Each of you is required to train your replacement. I want everyone to know the scope of my operation so thoroughly that he is able to contemplate executive decisions. ?
  2. Do more than what is required. Become known as the King or Queen of going the extra mile.
  3. Ask bigger questions every day. (The following is not a political endorsement " it`s just a story that validates my point ) In a Wall Street opt-ed piece written by Jim Rosapepe (former U.S. ambassador to Romania 1998-2001), he states that vice presidential candidate Joe Biden was visiting Romania in September 1999 and quizzed him on the 20 minute drive into the city. He states that Joe wanted to get the scoop on Romanian attitudes, the status of various government leaders, and the inside story on Romania`s foreign policy toward Slobodan Milosevic, who was still in power next door in Yugoslavia. The questions were Ph.D. level not Romania 101. What about your questions?  The quality of your questions determines how you are perceived as the CEO of You, Inc.
  4. There is no room for saying it`s not my job ? or they didn`t hire me to do that ?.  Get over it.  In times like these, it`s all hands on deck.
  5. Pay the premium on your career insurance by asking your boss what can I do to make you look good? ?, what can I do take some work off your plate? ?  Yes, these questions are straight out of the playbook from Brown Nose Academy.
  6. Keep your personal life - personal. No one really cares that you got drunk over the weekend or did whatever.  It will sometimes cause people to wonder if you are mentally and physically fit as a corporate athlete.  Beware of TMI - TMI (Too Much Information).
  7. Own your mistakes before they own you.
  8. Customer Service is a mindset, not a department. Everyone is in the business of surprising and delighting customers.  More businesses do more to run customers off  (e.g. automated phone trees that launch you into a plethora of choices.)  Don`t fall into the trap of choosing your own convenience over providing good service.
  9. Recruit into your parent company someone brilliant just like you. HR will love you and keep your name on the secret high potential list for future advancement. This is another tip straight out of the playbook from Brown Nose Academy. However, if he/she is a slacker, don`t waste your time on a recommendation that might make you look bad.
  10. Make sure your company is investing in You, Inc. Organizations spending an average of $900 per employee on learning experienced 57% higher net sales per employee, 37% higher gross profits per employee, and 20% higher ratio in market-to-book values. (Source " American Society of Training and Development.) 
  11. Everything Speaks!  Your hairstyle, your clothing " Dress for the job you intend to occupy one day.  Look at the person whose role you want and how they dress, how they carry themselves.  Check your voicemail greeting.  Is it boring?  Change it ? it`s your brand speaking loud and clear.  Your ringtone is a clear indication of how you want people to think about you, but be sure it represents you as a professional.
  12. Subscribe to online business resources like , ,,, just to name a few.
  13. Check out the following blogs,  internet news wires, and educational sites,,, , , 
  14. Cultivate a network before you need it.  Sign up for Linked-In, Facebook, Meet-Up.  The new capital in the 21st century is who promotes your brand when you are not around.   

O` Brilliant One - This is not the time to think small, play small or act small.  It`s time to insure your future.  Consider implementing some of the suggestions from Brown Nose Academy and you will find that you may just pass with flying colors.  

Simon`s Side bar

Today is the era of the individual, and YOU are the package the world has been waiting for. Welcome to a brand new day. Imagine a place where the world awaits your arrival and your value is celebrated. This is the place where your name is irresistible and your legacy inspires others to reach higher. Now you finally know who you are and how to turn what you love into a living.

One of my brilliant friends Melissa Johnson, a Lifestyle Brand Strategist, has written a new book called Brand Me! ?  Check out I can promise that you will not be able to put this book down.  Simon says - it`s brilliant!