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Published:December 17th, 2006 08:23 EST
Gems and Nuts in Net hood

Gems and Nuts in Net hood

By Nancy Lee Wolfe (HR Development/Content Manager)

Once upon a time in a land far, far away called Prodigy, there lived an on-line Helper named Martin L Cryland.  Martin Cryland met NLee007 and tried very hard to help.

Unfortunately, Martin was troubled and struggling.  Martin and NLee007 became pen pals.  Emails were exchanged and personal thoughts communicated.  Martin`s Email demonstrates the nature of his communication with NLee007 and provides some background.  They also highlight the root of his struggle, SheenaR.

These are actual communications.  Nothing has been edited or changed other than what was needed to veil identity.  It would be too painful to expose them.  However, Martin is Martin and SheenaR is SheenaR.

Of course, this is the Net`hood.  Martin could also be SheenaR.

BEWARE:  IT TAKES A VILLAGE

Subj:                       Got your message
Date:                       96-06-14 10:36:43 EDT
From:                      MCryland@misery.com (Mr. Martin L. Cryland)
To:                          NLee007

Hi,
I did not forget you, just have not checked my mail in a day or two.  How have things been going for you?  Hope you are learning the ropes.  I am at work now in the mail auditorium so this will be a short note.  Just wanted you to know that I am still here and receiving your messages.  You can choose to get a return receipt by checking the Receipt box.  That way you know for sure when your mail has been opened.  Anyway I better get back to work.  Look forward to your return post.

Have a good one.

Martin

Subj:                       Re: Nice to hear
Date:                       96-06-19 10:59:44 EDT
From:                      MCryland@misery.com (Mr. Martin L. Cryland)
To:                          NLee007

Hi
Just got your message yesterday and tried to decode your .wav file without much success.  If you could please send that file as a regular file attachment again.  I got to where I could hear the first part of that .wav but not the whole thing.

There is not a charge per IM only for the time you spend online.  There are a lot of changes going on here and I can`t wait for the dust to settle.

What would you like to know about me?  I am 40, 5`5 " and am a lightweight at 130 with brown hair and eyes.  I live in X___, YZ, in the mountains.  And as you know work a regular shift at my job.  Just never know what I`ll be doing until I get there though.

What about you?  What cards are you playing?  I will be waiting for your response.

Martin

Subj:                       Re: Second try
Date:                       96-06-20 08:31:36 EDT                        
From:                      MCryland@misery.com (Mr. Martin L. Cryland)
To:                          NLee007

Hello,
Looks like I got the same thing I got the first time.  You do not need to encode this in order to send it.  Try sending the .wav file itself without encoding it and then the system here will split and encode it automatically.

I live about 90 minutes from N____.  In fact I ran away from home last year and got a job there and lived there for about 6-7 months on the west side of town at Outside Apartments.  My wife and I were having a terrible time.

This is my third marriage and I am trying to make it my last.  Things are better now that we have been going to church and stopped some of the crazy stuff we were doing and let God have more control over us.  I still have a long way to go in order to get some feeling into my heart again.

Yes, you said you were playing your cards close to your breast, I mean chest. "  What ever that meant.  Maybe you are afraid of getting hurt again, too.  Life is full of uncertainty and sometimes you just need to let go and take a chance.

I will close for now and will once again await you reply and file.

Hoping Live is treating you well,

Martin

Subj:                       The mission "...
Date:                       96-06-21 07:50:56 EDT
From:                      MCryland@misery.com (Mr. Martin L. Cryland)
To:                          NLee007

Good Morning,
Just to let you know I received your message, without the file.  L.  For some reason the first two parts came out okay but the third was embedded into the message and not attached as a file as the first two parts were.  It was weird because your note was included in that also.  Wincode had a terrible time trying to decode that.  Anyway send it as you did before as you did right.

You seem to have a good bit of insight.  I`m just beginning to learn the way things should be.  My father was a bad role model as he is on his fourth marriage now.  I still feel like running away at times but know now that the demons are trying to make that look like the easy thing to do.  And the easy way isn`t always what is right and I`m trying to do what is right but it is hard when you can`t feel.

There seems to be a hole in my heart since the loss of my second wife to divorce which this wife would never understand if I told her.  She would tell me to go back to her and to get out of here.  I believe that God has a plan for me nut it is sure hard to see what it is.  But I feel that this is where I am supposed to be at this time.

Got a little better understanding of how things should be by reading Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.  That book has showed me the difference between the way men and women communicate.  This is the main cause for many divorces, misunderstanding or miscommunications.  I have learned to listen and to hear what she is really saying instead of taking offense.  But still have a long way to go for happiness.

It is good to have someone like you to write to.  Have never liked this type of communicating before but it does help.  I`m used to living physically, in the flesh.  Lived my whole life for that up to now.  And now am trying to find another way which I have not at this point.  That is what is making it hard.

Anyway I better start getting ready for work.  Hope I have not bothered you too much with all of this.  Have a great day and I`ll E you later.

Martin

Subj:                       Re: Mission Impossible
Date:                       96-06-24 09:11:35 EDT
From:                      MCryland@misery.com (Mr. Martin L. Cryland)
To:                          NLee007

Hi,
Got both of the files you sent but still having trouble decoding them properly.  The sound file I can hear but the program starts and halts abruptly.  Must be something I am doing wrong.  I didn`t realize that this could cause so much trouble for anyone.  Now I know.  My best results come when I strip the information before the coded part.  But still our system must being doing something wrong.

Anyway, what I heard of the sound file was neat, I won`t hurt you. "  Is there more?

Marriage is a different world where man and women must co-exist but she has to keep her own gas tank full.  But I do take out the trash.

I also enjoy foreplay but men and women have different views on what this entails.  Women want to be wined and dined and have sexually stimulating conversation sprinkled throughout this. 

Whereas for a man all we need is ".. Hmmmm " just the physical parts, touching, rubbing and kissing.  Like the book says, we come from two different worlds, but when they meet and harmonize it is great.  If there is no harmony then it is hell.  I never realized that a relationship was so much work to keep it alive.  Thought either you got along or you didn`t belong together and, to a point still think this.  But as has been said, Nothing good ever comes easy and if it does ask yourself if it is too good to be true.  Most of the time the answer will be yes, then there is something wrong.

Well, I will close with that as I don`t know what else to say at this point.  So, you take care.

Martin

Subj:                       Monday 9:30 a.m.
Date:                       96-06-25 08:16:47 EDT
From:                      MCryland@misery.com (Mr. Martin L. Cryland)
To:                          NLee007

Hello,
I tried the file libraries but did not see that nut will look again.  The problem could be in the way xyz sends its mail.  Not necessarily your fault.  You have done well.

You also seem to have quite a bit of wisdom.  My wife today is also a martian.  She grew up a tomboy but still has venus desires.  This is very hard at times.  I believe that god has put us together for a reason.  For me to fill her voids and to show her the way.  She is to do the same for me as we both have voids to be filled.

The book does not endorse that viewpoint, it is general martian statement.  He knows what problems there are between men and women and shows you ways to get through those situations.

Yes, sure wouldn`t want to tire someone out before their time through dancing.  Have done that before and it is not as enjoyable as it would have been without the alcohol and exercise.  Alcohol dulls my senses and I want to feel as much as I can.  My wife sometimes needs it to help her loosen up which disappoints me at times because I know that she has lost some feeling in the process.  She is learning though.

Maybe she just doesn`t know what she is supposed to do.  She tries real hard to read my mind and to do things I want but I tell her just relax and be yourself.  That is what I want, something natural.

The book points out that as a woman works in the mans world she adapts to his ways then when she gets home she needs to get back to her female side.  If she does not then she will continue the actions as if she were still in the mans world.  It is weird but somehow true.  I tease my wife by saying she will make a good husband some day and I will make a good wife, as she has taught me well.  When we get our roles reversed and back to the way it should be then it might be great.  She has taken control and does not like it and is afraid if she gives up the control things will fall apart.  Church is helping her to see how god wants our lives to be and she is slowly coming around.

It is hard for me to be happy now but as god gets into my heart things are changing there too.  Not as fast as I would like but I am starting to feel again.

Moved on too many times before when maybe I should have stuck it out through the rough time to find what I really wanted.  It is too late for some things but not for all things.

Well, better start getting ready to go to work.  Your letter has inspired me not to loose hope.

Thanks,
Martin

Subj:                       Re:  Monday Morn
Date:                       96-07-02 07:49:52 EDT
From:                      MCryland@misery.com (Mr. Martin L. Cryland)
To:                          NLee007

Good morning,
Yes, I miss my cyber-buddy.  I figured that you have been on vacation.  Have looked for your E for a while now and thought that I had run you off with my last message.  Anyway I am looking forward to your E and will wait for it.  Hope you have a great day.

Martin

Subj:                       Sorry
Date:                       96-09-03 16:06:30 EDT
From:                      MCryland@misery.com (Mr. Martin L. Cryland)
To:                          NLee007

Hi N,
Yes, computer is starting to work now.  But I will be unable to continue writing to you.  Wife found one of your messages and considers this an affair.  You are great but I need to keep the peace at home.

Martin

Subj:                       Re: Sorry
Date From:              MCryland@misery.com (Mr. Martin L. Cryland)
To:                         NLee007
Date:                      09/03/96

No problem, Martin.  Enjoyed your company.

N

(Note:  Communication between Martin and NLee007 ceased.)

Enter:  SheenaR

Subj:                       GOT THE MESSAGE????
Date:                       96-09-05 17:45:36 EDT
From:                      sheenaR@misery.com (MRS ROSIE A CRYLAND)
To:                          NLee007

Just wanted to make sure that you GOT THE MESSAGE, N LEE!!!!! BACK OFF!!!  Find a rep for YOUR service if you need assistance or PERSONAL business ".

MRS. Cryland

Subj:                       Re:  GOT THE MESSAGE????
Date:                       09-05-96
To:                          sheenaR@misery.com
From:                      NLee007
CC:                          MCryland@misery.com

You say the sweetest things, Mrs. Cryland.  Give Mr. Cryland my best.

N

Subj:                       Re: GOT THE MESSAGE????
Date:                       96-09-07 13:11:33 EDT
From:                      sheenaR@misery.com (MRS ROSIE A CRYLAND)
To:                          NLee007

N,
Maybe you wouldn`t get such nice " messages from people such as this if you would refrain from PERSONAL conversations with married men, such as Help, Miss you, etc.  And you are not even using this service.  I do also hope that you got the message from HIM that he would not be writing to you anymore, so that means, find someone else to Help you with your problem, both personal and aol.

Thank you and sincere good luck to you.

Ms. Cryland

Date:                       09/07/96
To:                          sheenaR@misery.com
From:                       NLee007
CC:                          MCryland@misery.com

Mrs. Cryland,

Your insecurity is overwhelming.  I hope time can heal your wounds.  Please remember me in your prayers.  My best to Mr. Cryland.

N

Subj:                       Re:  GOT THE MESSAGE????
Date:                       96-09-10 17:41:07 EDT
From:                      sheenaR@misery.com (MRS ROSIE A CRYLAND)
To:                          NLee007

N,
You interest in this situation seems quite extreme.  Under the circumstances and you continued persistence ".such as my best to Mr. Cryland and other notable remarks as mentioned previously, and also after talking with my husband the personal content of the communication that has taken place "..what are your intentions here?  Do you have a problem excepting rejection?  You are in no position to pass judgement on anyones insecurities until you have walked in their shoes.  Understand, I am not passing judgement on you, BUT the situation.  I don`t know where your heart is, but someone who wishes to cause others family problems and blames their own sin on some ones insecurities needs to search their own heart.  Are you saved?  Do you follow in God`s way?  If so, I pray that the truth be revealed to you.  The devil sneaks in with all kinds of lies.  If someone has sinned against another, that person is to confront them to give them a chance to ask forgiveness.  That is my intent here.  I forgive you, anyway, for the trouble that you have contributed in our home, but God is the one who`s forgiveness you need more than mine.  And as you ask, I will remember you in prayer.

Ms. Cryland

Subj:                       Re:  GOT THE MESSAGE????
Date:                       96-09-10 18:56:40 EDT
From:                      NLee007
CC:                          MCryland@misery.com

Mrs. Cryland,
When I was a child, I, too, spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but, when I became an adult, I put away childish things.  My best to Mr. Cryland.

N

Subject:                  Re:  GOT THE MESSAGE????
Date:                       96-09-14 17:33:45 EDT
From:                      sheenaR@misery.com (MRS ROSIE A CRYLAND)
To:                          NLee007

N,
You last message regarding childish things was very vague, indeed.  What specifically are you referring to as childish things "..forgiveness?. ".salvation?.....or just lack of something intelligent to say and in context regarding my last e-mail to you.  I am aware of that scripture, but how YOU applying it and in reference to what.  In any case, I will continue to remember you in prayer.  God`s blessings to you.

Ms. Cryland

Subj:                       Re: Re:  GOT THE MESSAGE?????
Date:                       96-09-14 17:44:43 EDT
To:                          sheenaR@misery.com
From:                      NLee007
CC:                          MCryland@misery.com

Thank you so much, Mrs. Cryland.  The fervent prayer of a righteous woman avails much.  My best to Mr. Cryland.

N

NLee007 felt somewhat guilty for continuing to tease SheenaR.  However, nothing compares with quoting scripture to a FLAMING Christian.

Martin, if you have escaped or if it is not too dangerous, come see us in the Net`hood.  Your friends miss you.

SheenaR, play nice.

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