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Published:April 22nd, 2008 05:34 EST
Praise The Lord And Pass Me My Beer

Praise The Lord And Pass Me My Beer

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Another round and amen! Beer was on tap and a mechanical bull inspired the sermon as a new church held its inaugural service in a western Ohio bar.

The Country Rock Church drew about 100 people to Sunday night's meeting at the Pub Lounge in Sidney, 35 miles north of Dayton."

Quotation from the Associated Press

I don't attend church, but I might be inspired to visit this lively congregation.

If a parishioner gets tired of the bull emanating from the pulpit, he can go a couple of rounds with the mechanical bull.

Some houses of God reward their long-time members by assigning them a seat up front, with a plaque with their name on it. One time, years ago, at a country church, I made a mistake of sitting down in a seat on the front row. Before I knew it I was being driven away by a blue-haired old lady brandishing a giant King James Bible.

At the Country Rock Church the blue-haired old lady would be sitting in a table way in the back sipping her virgin drink, while the most besotted bar fly would be sitting on a barstool, with his name on it, inches away from the preacher.

I wonder if the pastor was drunk like a skunk when he came up with this "house of worship at a bar" concept. It's hard to keep your mind on celestial things when the beer keeps flowing and the chicken wings are so tasty.

I can visualize the reverend preaching a sermon about doing a good deed for your neighbor, and a tipsy church member responding by ordering a drink for "the red-haired choir member with the big hooters."

I've attended some Pentecostal tabernacles where under the influence of the Holy Spirit parishioners spoke in tongues, danced and made a "joyful noise" unto the Lord. Heavens only knows what shenanigans members of the Country Rock Church will engage in under the influence of "spirits".

"The Rev. Chris Heckaman says people really seemed to enjoy themselves..."

Quotation from the Associated Press

No kidding, who wouldn't enjoy themselves guzzling beer and munching on chicken wings. You don't have to be a rocket scientist or have a degree in theology to know how to make people have a good time. Why doesn't the preacher hire a couple of strippers, so that his flock will have an even better time?

The main objective of a church should not be to make their members happy, but to inspire them to do some good in this crazy and mixed-up world.