May 12th, 2008 16:24 EST
College Student Arrested For Flinging M&M's At Cop
"A college student whose friend was being questioned in a hit and run found himself charged with assaulting an officer with a curious choice of weapons: M&Ms."
Quotation from the Associated Press (AP)
Unless Oprah Winfrey is moonlighting as a cop, no police officer is going to be so distracted trying to catch M&M's with his mouth that he will let a suspect escape.
"Sean McGuire claimed he threw the candy because he was 'sticking up for his friend.'"
Quotation from the AP
I'm sorry but if a friend of mine is arrested by the cops, he's on his own and I'm not going to pelt the arresting officer with candy or anything else.
And if I were the one being questioned by a cop, I would die of embarrassment if my friend threw M&M's at the police officer. He should have thrown a Snickers bar instead, those things are as hard as a rock.
If McGuire is sentenced to jail, I can imagine the conversation with his cellmate:
Bubba: Buddy, what ya in for? I'm here for assault, rape and burglary.
McGuire: Um, I assaulted a cop with M&M's
Bubba: What da hell is an M&M, is that a new kind of semi-automatic gun?
McGuire: Nah, ya know, M&M's, they melt in your mouth not in your hands.
Bubba: We're gonna get along just fine, your first duty as my wife is to clean the toilet.
Moral of the story: M&M's melt in your mouth and not in your hands, but they ain't gonna melt the heart of a cop.