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Published:May 12th, 2008 15:24 EST

College Student Arrested For Flinging M&M's At Cop

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A college student whose friend was being questioned in a hit and run found himself charged with assaulting an officer with a curious choice of weapons: M&Ms."

Quotation from the Associated Press (AP)

Unless Oprah Winfrey is moonlighting as a cop, no police officer is going to be so distracted trying to catch M&M's with his mouth that he will let a suspect escape.

"Sean McGuire claimed he threw the candy because he was 'sticking up for his friend.'"

Quotation from the AP

I'm sorry but if a friend of mine is arrested by the cops, he's on his own and I'm not going to pelt the arresting officer with candy or anything else.

And if I were the one being questioned by a cop, I would die of embarrassment if my friend threw M&M's at the police officer. He should have thrown a Snickers bar instead, those things are as hard as a rock.

If McGuire is sentenced to jail, I can imagine the conversation with his cellmate:

Bubba: Buddy, what ya in for? I'm here for assault, rape and burglary.

McGuire: Um, I assaulted a cop with M&M's

Bubba: What da hell is an M&M, is that a new kind of semi-automatic gun?

McGuire: Nah, ya know, M&M's, they melt in your mouth not in your hands.

Bubba: We're gonna get along just fine, your first duty as my wife is to clean the toilet.

Moral of the story: M&M's melt in your mouth and not in your hands, but they ain't gonna melt the heart of a cop.