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Published:May 26th, 2008 15:28 EST
Summer In The Suburbs: Time For Yard Sales

Summer In The Suburbs: Time For Yard Sales

By Robert Paul Reyes

It's summer in the suburbs -- time for backyard barbeques, mowing the lawn, mosquitos and yard sales.

You can temporarily get rid of mosquitos, but there's nothing you can do to prevent your neighbor from having a yard sale that destroys the peace and quiet of your neighborhood.

When folks have a yard sale they may put up a poster or two on a telephone pole, but even that minimum advertising is unnecessary. I've seen my neighbors set up a yard sale, and within minutes there are cars taking up every available parking space. I think soccer moms have a GPS unit in their minivans that alerts them when there's a yard sale in the vicinity.

Folks think that parking regulations don't apply when there's a yard sale, they will park on front lawns and block driveways. I'm an easygoing guy, but I almost got into a fistfight when I told one guy that his pickup was blocking my driveway. He had the attitude: Hey it's a yard sale, I should be able to park on your porch if necessary.

I am not above frequenting a thrift store, but the junk peddled in yard sales makes your typical thrift store look like a Nordstrom. You can always find a stack of scratched CD's at a yard sale, but don't expect any current hits. I'm sorry but I think I can survive without owning a CD of the Brady Bunch greatest hits.

I would never hold a yard sale, because it reveals too much about what goes on in the privacy of your home. I really didn't need to know that my next-door neighbor has a collection of "dog collars" and leashes. One of the "dog collars" had studs spelling out "I'm your slave baby."

Whenever my neighbors have a yard sale, I go away for a few hours to preserve my sanity.