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Published:May 28th, 2008 13:04 EST
Some  Patients Want To Kill Their Doctor

Some Patients Want To Kill Their Doctor

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Professor David Fishbain has authored a study, published in New Science magazine, that states one in twenty or 5% of patients get urges to kill their doctor. He puts this down to a distrust of doctors generally.

Eight hundred patients were surveyed, some undergoing treatment and some seeking legal compensation. Interestingly, in a control group of people who were not being treated, 2% of those wished to murder their doctor as well."

Quotation from ShortNews.Com

I`m surprised only 5% of patients want to kill their physician, going to the doctor is not a pleasant experience. I normally arrive at my quack`s office about 15 minutes early; and, then, I cool my heels for an hour in the waiting room. The reading material consists of 5-year-old copies of magazines like Architectural Digest, and the Muzak plays instrumental arrangements of songs like "You Light Up My Life" and "Muskrat Love." The Geneva Conventions prevents the use of such psychological torture on prisoners of war, but patients in a waiting room are fair game.

My name is finally called and I`m led away like a lamb to the slaughter. A nurse with the bedside manner of Nurse Ratchet takes my temperature and blood pressure, and barks: The doctor will see you shortly. Thirty minutes later the doctor wakes me up, sticks a tongue depressor in my mouth and a finger in my nether regions and pronounces me in tip-top health. I respond, "That`s great, Doc, but can you please do something about this fish hook stuck in my eyelid?"

I finally leave the doctor`s office wondering why I didn`t leave the fish hook in my eye and tell everyone that is was a new piercing to celebrate my birthday.