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Published:June 16th, 2008 10:14 EST
Man Arrested Wearing Diaper Full Of Dope

Man Arrested Wearing Diaper Full Of Dope

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Frank Keys Jr. faces up to 40 years in prison after he was found cruising down the highway with more than 200 grams of heroin in the diaper he was wearing, federal officials said.

Keys told officers he was wearing a diaper and when they asked if there was anything in the diaper, he `shook his head affirmatively.`

Officers then removed a package containing about 257 grams of heroin from the diaper."

Quotation from the Associated Press

Keys should be photographed wearing only his drug-laden diaper, that ridiculous image on billboards would be a very effective anti-drug advertisement. Too many kids think that drug dealers are cool and sophisticated, but the reality is that they are venial and ludicrous creatures.

But folks who buy illegal drugs are also foolish, how do they know that their dope wasn`t kept in some guy`s Depends? The FDA doesn`t inspect illegal drugs, they could be diluted with poisonous or dangerous substances. It`s common practice for drug mules to swallow balloons filled with heroin before they board a plane, and when they reach their destination they defecate and retrieve the drug-filled balloon.

I wish I could have heard the conversation when the cop pulled over Keys:

Cop: Did I scare the sh** out of you when I turned on my siren and lights, or is that a stash of dope in your behind?

Keys: You got me, Officer, this is the end of the line for me.

The moral of this story: Drug dealers eventually get caught, and individuals who use illegal substances are better off not knowing where their drugs came from.