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Published:June 26th, 2008 08:33 EST
God Goes to Jail For Selling Cocaine

God Goes to Jail For Selling Cocaine

By Robert Paul Reyes

God has been accused of some horrific crimes: Unleashing floods, hurling lightning bolts, triggering earthquakes, sparking fires, starting epidemics, creating tsunamis, causing famine... There is even a book (The Bible) that chronicles the outrages committed by the Lord, it`s more chilling than the memoirs of a serial killer.

The Almighty has got away with genocide because he`s invisible and omniscient. But Jehovah has finally been arrested near a Tampa church for selling cocaine. He may not have been nailed for genocide or the earthquake in China, but then again Al Capone was arrested for not paying his taxes.

"Police say a man named God was arrested near a Tampa church for selling cocaine. Authorities began investigating God Lucky Howard in April, and he was arrested on Saturday. Police say he sold the cocaine to undercover detectives in his neighborhood. When officers searched his home, they reported finding another 22 grams of cocaine and a scale."

Quotation from the Associated Press

OK, so it wasn`t really God, but some fool who goes by that moniker, but it gave me an excuse to write an article with a sensational headline.

"God Lucky Howard" really needs to change his name, he`s not very lucky or godlike.

God better pray that his cellmate isn`t a religious fanatic, because he might beat the hell out of him for calling himself "God".