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Published:July 8th, 2008 17:54 EST
Do You Suffer From Shopping Bulimia?

Do You Suffer From Shopping Bulimia?

By Robert Paul Reyes

With the exception of a few metrosexuals, with a penchant for man bags and other accessories, guys are practical when it comes to clothes. We don`t accessorize, the only accessory we may have is a snot rag in our back pant`s pocket.
Shopping Bulimia
When a dude needs a shirt, he simply tells his girlfriend or wife: Yo, I`m going to the department store to buy a new shirt.
A lady will tell her girlfriends, never her husband: I just gotta have that new Anne Klein blouse, the silver one with the embedded pearls that I saw at Macy`s.
To a guy a shirt is a shirt is a shirt and he will wear it with any pair of pants; to a gal a blouse must be the right designer brand and it can only be worn with a certain dress and only at a particular time of the year.
Guys almost never buy clothes for a special occasion, whatever isn`t in the hamper is what a man will put on for a party or special celebration. A woman absolutely, positively, has to buy an entire new outfit for any party or special event.
That`s why it`s the fair sex that is susceptible to the odious practice of buying clothes for a special occasion and then returning them on the next day. This disease is known as shopping bulimia, it afflicts 90% of the female population. If you have a skin rash from tags rubbing against your skin -- you have shopping bulimia. This symptom could be eliminated if the tags were removed, but that would make it more difficult to get a refund.
My friend works in a department store, and she`s learned never to confront a woman afflicted with shopping bulimia. She once asked this prima donna why she returned clothes two or three times a month, and the lady gave her an earful about a "woman`s prerogative to change her mind" with a few expletives thrown in for good measure.  
The only known cure for shopping bulimia is for a woman never to celebrate birthdays, weddings, baby showers, promotions, graduations, first communions, anniversaries -- basically never to attend a party or celebration of any kind.