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Published:July 28th, 2008 19:37 EST
Eel Energy Drink Anyone?

Eel Energy Drink Anyone?

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A canned drink called `Unagi Nobori,` or `Surging Eel,` made by Japan Tobacco Inc., hit the nation`s stores this month just ahead of Japan`s annual eel-eating season, company spokesman Kazunori Hayashi said Monday."

Unagi Nobori

Quotation from the Associated Press

When I`m in Rome I might do as the Romans do, but when I`m in Tokyo there`s no way in hell I will do as the natives of that city and imbibe eel juice.

Eel juice is marketed as an energy drink, but when it comes to energy drinks I draw the line at Pimp Juice. I might guzzle Pimp Juice from a Pimp Cup, but I ain`t gonna drink eel juice not even from the most expensive crystal glass in the world.

Japan Tobacco Inc isn`t going to have any success if they export their eel juice to the United States. Even if they had commercials featuring a naked Jessica Alba holding a bottle of eel juice, it`s not going to sell.

Thank the stars I live in America where we don`t have a freakin` eel season, and we don`t chug eel energy drink.