September 30th, 2008 17:32 EST
Don't Expect Every Kernel of Popcorn to Pop
Steve Kaplan was watching "Superbad" and munching on popcorn when he bit into an unpopped kernel and broke a tooth. He sued the theatre owner for his dental bills.
First mistake: Watching a movie that received uniformly awful reviews, and that`s titled "Superbad".
Second mistake: Buying overpriced movie theatre popcorn that`s saturated with a yellow substance that resembles industrial waste more than it does butter.
Third mistake: Scavenging the bottom of the barrel for the last few kernels of popcorn. Almost all of the unpopped kernels fall to the bottom, if the fool wasn`t munching on the dregs he wouldn`t have damaged his tooth.
Fourth mistake: Filing a frivolous lawsuit. Listen idiot, sh** happens.
"Kaplan sued the theater to recover $1,250 for dental repairs. But Manhattan Civil Court Judge Matthew Cooper ruled that Kaplan could not reasonably expect every kernel to be popped."
Every popcorn kernel doesn`t pop, every lottery ticket isn`t a winner, and every lady doesn`t fall for our clever pickup line.
Moral of the story: Take the good with the bad. Don`t sweat the small stuff.