October 8th, 2008 16:37 EST
BREAKING NEWS: Obama Family Scandal!
Even though Barack Obama is seen by most Democrats as the Promised One of the New Age, the truth is that Obama is not invincible, nor is he immune from being ambushed by a plethora of unpleasant revelations between now and November 4.
For example, some time ago Lynne Cheney unloaded a bombshell that could literally put an end to Obama`s quest for the White House. Mrs. Cheney announced that her genealogical meddling had unearthed the fact that Vice President Dick Cheney and Democrat Barack Obama Are Eighth Cousins!
How utterly clever it would be for Republicans to re-reveal that information just as the election wars start to heat up, knowing full well that Obama faces an uphill battle in trying to overcome the perception that he "is not black enough," for some African American voters.
Being found cavorting about in the Cheney family tree is unlikely to make Obama appear any blacker to already-skeptical African-Americans, and it could be the worst possible news for his campaign.
Possibly worse: Disclosure of the fact that Joseph Biden`s youngest daughter became pregnant outside the institution of marriage, but defied her liberal upbringing by refusing to abort the child. Now that is an outrage!
Still, there are obvious similarities between Obama and Cheney:
To begin with, both are clean and articulate.
Both are committed to winning the war on terror. The only difference being that Cheney is pulling for America to win, while Obama seems partial to the Jihad bunch.
Both are concerned about illegal aliens. Cheney wants to let millions more in for cheap labor, Obama wants them here for cheap votes.
Both have deep respect for gays and lesbians. Cheney because of family; Obama, again, because of votes.
Cheney and Obama have sharp differences, too:
Obama would invade allies like Pakistan; whereas Cheney prefers to invade nations with huge oil reserves and infrastructure ruined by "shock and awe" campaigns executed by the U.S. military.
Obama hates guns of all sorts, Cheney prefers to have a 28-gauge shotgun at the ready when needed to keep snotty lawyers on their toes.
Obama is pro-choice, Cheney believes that abortions rob America of the young men and women needed to invade and occupy foreign nations.
Obama is the picture of youth and health, Cheney is a crusty old bird with a wonky heart.
Barack Obama, You`re no Ronald Reagan, but you may be Dick Cheney!