December 4th, 2009 19:41 EST
America Needs "Red Neck Heritage" Month(s)!
What is it with America`s obsession with diversity? It`s diversity this, diversity that, blah, blah, blah!
February was Black History month, and September was Hispanic heritage month.
In fact, it seems as though there is a "month" for every sub-group in our society except the most stellar group of all: Good old American red necks!
Why is there no "Red Neck Heritage Month" to commemorate all of the cultural, social, and political contributions made by these stellar males?
Think of the many things that would be missing from American life without red necks.
Without red necks there would be no:
Wal Mart drug stores;
Out houses, built for two;
NRA or shooting ranges;
Tax evasion prisons;
Bowling alleys and other cultural centers;
ESL for American-born citizens!
Second amendment defense groups;
Alimony and child support;
Dead beat daddy laws;
George W. Bush;
False teeth and dentures;
Rape crisis centers;
Foot long Beef Jerky;
FCC seven banned words;
Pandemic of acid indigestion;
Two pound sugar waffles smothered in real butter;
Drunk tanks and holding cells;
Minor league baseball;
Motel six bridal suites;
Illiteracy, except among illegal aliens;
Big Mac Triple Pounders with large fries and one fork;
Remedial English and summer school, and
Sarah Palin fan clubs.
Urgent: Write your Congress critter, if you are able, and tell him or her to make March through August of every year the Official Red Neck Heritage months in America!