October 26th, 2008 16:16 EST
News Correction: ACORN Registers Cremeated Remains!
BREAKING NEWS: Cremated Remains Registered by ACORN!
ACORN Worker Searches for More Omaba Votes!
Burning Satire By John Lillpop
Contrary to earlier, false reports the bodies and remains of 27 dearly departed at House of Burns Memorial Chapel were NOT evicted by the property owners.
In fact, it has been determined that the dead were actually stolen by Team Obama ACORN workers who intend to use their names, addresses, and social security numbers in order to register for the November 4 election.
Its all a part of the aggressive "Get out the Vote" campaign put in place by Barack Obama, Howard Dean, and the Funeral Directors Union of America.
The objective is to register enough dead people to offset the tsunami of Palinmania that has Democrats alarmed about their prospects for stealing the White House.
Other DNC "Get out the Vote" initiatives include registration drives in so-called Sanctuary cities where illegal aliens prosper, and in Northern provinces of Mexico itself.
ACORN is looking for Spanish-speaking volunteers to travel to Mexico to register citizens (of Mexico!) for Obama.
Finally, Team Obama has dispatched ACORN voter fraud experts to Hospices all around the nation in a last ditch attempt to secure at least 90 percent of the dead and or nearly dead people of color demographic!
Reaction by the McCain Camp was swift and vocal: Said a McCain spokesperson, "this sort of voter fraud really burns my ass!"