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Published:November 26th, 2008 21:57 EST

Fool Breaks Into Preschool And Steals Frozen Dinners

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A man was accused of breaking into a Dayton preschool and making off with the teachers` frozen lunch entrees. Police said an officer who responded to a burglar alarm at a Miami Valley Child Development location last Saturday noticed a 51-year-old man walking away from the building.

The officer reported the suspect was carrying a blue bag around his neck that contained screwdrivers, cutting pliers, a flashlight and several microwave dinners."

The Associated Press (AP)

This burglar takes his profession seriously, he came equipped with pliers, screwdrivers and a flashlight. But he must be a couple of screwdrivers short of a complete tool box -- why on earth would he break into a preschool? What booty could he hope to walk away with, stuffed animals and a few blankets?

I guess the idiot figured that it would be easier breaking into a preschool than a bank, but he didn`t consider that the payoff of soiled diapers isn`t as good as cold hard cash.

The dude`s burglary netted him a few microwave dinners, he should have stolen the microwave oven as well. In prison he will be laughed at and perhaps beat up for getting caught stealing frozen dinners. But had he stolen the microwave oven he would have earned more respect and avoided humiliation

According to the AP article the guy was charged with breaking and entering and possessing criminal tools; I never realized that I own criminal tools.