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Published:December 24th, 2008 09:41 EST
Toilet Seats

Age-Old Argument Settled Once And For All: Leave Toilet Seats Up

By Robert Paul Reyes

A man`s home is his castle, and a real man leaves his toilet seat up. A guy who leaves the toilet seat down to please his wife or girlfriend, might as well sit down when he needs to urinate because he`s not much of a man.

The battle of the sexes is waged on many fronts, but it reaches fever pitch at the toilet. Countless of relationships have broken up over the position of the toilet seat, but now the issue has been settled once and for all in favor of men.

Thank goodness that Judge Judy wasn`t the final arbiter of this critical issue, she would have ruled that toilet companies must manufacture female-friendly commodes with seats that can`t be lifted.

"Leave the toilet seat up, some British doctors now say. The reason: a rising trend for heavy wooden and ornamental toilet seats to fall down onto the penises of unsuspecting (and just potty-trained) toddlers."

What the British quacks say makes a lot of sense, but a real man will put his foot down and the toilet seat up, and he will do so without hiding behind his toddler.

I guess it is a man`s world after all: Ladies learn to live with the toilet seat in the upright position.