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Published:January 4th, 2009 08:57 EST

Judge Releases Homeless Dude On Condition He Wear Underwear

By Robert Paul Reyes

"As a condition of bail, it is certainly an odd one. Ben Hana, well known around Wellington as Blanket Man, was freed from prison in time to enjoy New Year celebrations, on the proviso that he wear underwear.

Hours after his successful bail application in Wellington District Court yesterday, the homeless man was sunning himself in Tory St in a new pair of undies.

Hana spent a week on remand at Rimutaka Prison after his arrest on December 23 for cannabis possession and obscene exposure."

New Zealand Judge Tom Broadmore should be commended for his innovative approach to dispensing justice. It should be noted that Judge Broadmore didn`t make giving up weed a condition of release. The good judge knows there is no connection between smoking grass and going out in public sans underwear. The smell of marijuana may be a bit unpleasant to the olfactory system, but the spectacle of a homeless man exposing his genitals is an aesthetic nightmare

I wish Judge Broadmore were presiding over a court in Los Angeles, there are certain felonious starlets who should have had the same bail conditions as the homeless man from New Zealand. Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton have all had run-ins with law in the last couple of years, and these three bimbos are notorious for exposing their nether regions. If one of these dimwits is arrested again, the bail conditions should include a provision that they refrain from flashing their goodies.

Just because Hilton and her clueless sisters-in-crime are attired in haute couture, that doesn`t give them a special dispensation to show off their private parts. Whether it`s a homeless man clad in a blanket or a Hollywood actress dressed in designer wear, societal norms mandate that they both wear underwear.