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Published:February 22nd, 2009 14:37 EST
Man Guzzling Beer When Pulled Over By Cops

Man Guzzling Beer When Pulled Over By Cops

By Robert Paul Reyes

"The 50-year-old driver had a beer can on top of his pick-up truck and was drinking a cold Natural Ice when the St. Lucie County Sheriff`s Deputy approached.

The situation for Johnnie Ed Roberts, who had bloodshot eyes and incoherent speech, likely did not improve late Wednesday when investigators noticed he`d urinated on himself while they spoke to him on North 27th Street."

Johnnie Ed Roberts is the new poster boy for clueless drunks, he makes the typical bar fly look like a paragon of virtue. Almost everyone has been drunk at least once, but I dare say nobody else has been caught driving with a beer can on top of his car, and drinking a cold one when pulled over by the cops. And then to top things off this drunkard urinates on himself in the presence of the cops and sucks on the breath machine instead of blowing into it. He probably thought the breathalyzer was a bong.

We need losers like Roberts to make us feel good about ourselves. Did you have one drink too many at the pub, and forget all about your daughter`s birthday party? Well at least you didn`t wet yourself in front of your friends, and suck on the nozzle of the fire extinguisher thinking it was a bong.

Folks with a gentle disposition may pray for Roberts, but at 50 this loser is too old to change his ways. The sooner he goes to that big Pub in the Sky the better.