Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:March 31st, 2009 16:07 EST
Man Charged With Driving Bar Stool Under The Influence

Man Charged With Driving Bar Stool Under The Influence

By Robert Paul Reyes


"Authorities in Ohio say a man has been charged with drunken driving after crashing his motorized bar stool.

Police in Newark, 30 miles east of Columbus, say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries on March 4, they found a man who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower." The Associated Press

Kile Wygle suffered only minor injuries, but his pride must have been hurt when he was arrested for driving a bar stool under the influence. Kyle claims to have downed 15 beers, he was probably too drunk to feel any embarrassment or humiliation.

Wygle should have been charged for committing a crime against nature, it`s sacrilegious to put wheels and a motor on a bar stool. When I`m at my favorite pub nursing a beer, I don`t want my bar stool to move an inch. A bar stool should be stationary, only a demon-possessed person would pimp a bar stool.

I feel sorry for Wygle, when he sobers up he`s going to realize that he is an international object of ridicule. I hope he isn`t so humiliated that he puts wheels and a motor on his sofa and drives off a cliff.