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Published:July 6th, 2009 13:50 EST

$58 T-Shirt Makes Dudes Look Like They Have Ripped Abs

By Robert Paul Reyes

Every guy wants to have ripped abs to impress the ladies, but who the hell wants to do sit-ups and give up beer and donuts?

If a woman I`m interested in doesn`t give me a second look because I have a slight pot belly, I will just drown my sorrow in suds. You will never catch me in a gym, or jogging in the rain.

Now there`s hope for lazy dudes like me:

"The torso, the trunk, the gut -- whatever. It`s the one part of a guy`s body that`s hard to keep tight and lean. That`s why there`s RIPT FUSION: a new body-sculpting undershirt designed to support a man`s core, shave inches off his belly and enhance his posture.

Using a patent pending design and dual fabric technology, the RIPT FUSION`s mid-panel sucks in the belly and creates core consciousness while the chest and sweep of the shirt are a light-weight, soft cotton perfect for wearing under all types of clothes. Best of all, it looks just like a regular white T-shirt so no one in the locker room will ever know how he got so...ripped!"

The RIPT Fusion T-shirt will set you back $58.00, but it`s a lot less expensive than a gym membership, and a lot less painful than doing 50 crunches every day.

If I meet a new lady and we hit it off I won`t be able to take off my shirt when we become cozy. I will have to tell her that I have a strange fetish: I like to wear a white T-Shirt when I`m getting down. If I take off my RIPT Fusion T-shirt and she gets a gander at my pot belly, she`ll taking off running before we get to second base.

In all seriousness I do work out a little, but in a couple of years I may need to buy the most expensive T-shirt in the world.