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Published:August 7th, 2009 13:02 EST
Old Hag Arrested For Stealing Anti-Wrinkle Cream

Old Hag Arrested For Stealing Anti-Wrinkle Cream

By Robert Paul Reyes


"An 86-year-old woman who has been arrested more than 60 times in her life has been charged with felony shoplifting, Chicago police said Monday.

Ella Orko was arrested Sunday for allegedly stealing items from a Dominick`s food store. She was held Monday in lieu of $10,000 bail.

Items she is accused of stealing include anti-wrinkle cream, nearly a dozen packs of AA batteries and several packs of salmon, said Chicago police Officer Robert Perez. Orko tried to leave the store while hiding the items in her pants, Perez said."

I have seen Ella`s mug shot, and I can understand why the elderly thief stole anti-wrinkle cream. It`s more difficult to fathom why she shoplifted a dozen packs of AA batteries. With her decrepit-looking face, her pants should have been stuffed with nothing but anti-wrinkle cream.

Ella is a habitual criminal, and she should be sentenced to a year in jail. Hopefully that means that she would be behind bars for the rest of her pathetic life.

As you can discern, I have no sympathy for the elderly crook. Her first arrest was over five decades ago, it`s high time to lock her up and throw away the keys.

It`s professional shoplifters like Ella that are responsible for the high price of anti-wrinkle cream and AAA batteries.