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Published:September 28th, 2009 10:37 EST
Drunk Footballer Jailed For Simulating Sex With Parking Meter

Drunk Footballer Jailed For Simulating Sex With Parking Meter

By Robert Paul Reyes

A DRUNK footballer`s loudly simulated sex with a parking meter has been recounted in Cairns Magistrates` Court.

He then made racial slur against a passerby - the final straw for police.

Police were called to a disturbance at the corner of Shields and Abbott streets on August 31 about 8:40pm and found Adam Michael Kelly dry-humping a parking meter and yelling out: `Yeah baby, you know you want it.`" Read More

In the classic film "Cool Hand Luke" Paul Newman`s character is sent to a Florida prison for decapitating several parking meters one drunken night. Luke`s rebellious spirit makes the other cons idolize him, and a movie star is born.

In real life a footballer is sent to jail for simulating sex with a parking meter, and he becomes the laughing stock of Australia.

Parking meters symbolize the authority (The Man), and they should be vandalized and destroyed, not dry-humped.

Adam Michael Kelly also hurled a racist slur against a passerby and a cop, this clown deserves to be behind bars.

Kelley had been drinking all night with his teammates to celebrate the end of the CDRL football season. I`m not Australian, and I don`t know the CDRL football league from a Dingo, but I do know that if the league wants to preserve their legitimacy they must kick this drunk racist to the curb.