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Published:March 20th, 2010 09:17 EST

Old Lady Gardens Topless, Neighbors Horrified

By Robert Paul Reyes


"For years, neighbors in the Foothills Community neighborhood have had problems with how Catharine and Robert Pierce live. The pair are routinely seen outside of their home wearing only thong underwear, but when Catharine did a little topless gardening, that`s when the law finally got involved.

After multiple complaints to condo organization Boulder Housing Partners, that is. However, the nudist couple are prepared to roll up their non-sleeves and fight for their right to be topless.

Under Colorado law, so long as the genitals are covered, there`s nothing wrong with a woman (or man) being topless." Read More

My local late night news program promoted this story with these words: Coming up at 11: Topless woman gardening causes uproar. I imagined an Angelina Jolie lookalike pruning her roses with her golden globes sweating and glistening in the sun. I was sorely disappointed when the topless gardener turned out to be a 52-year-old average looking woman.

Real life always pales in comparison to our fantasies. With my luck it will be my 80-something neighbor who will one day decide to tend her garden sans her usual sweater that she wears year round.

I would be incensed if a middle-aged couple, living on my block, sashayed outside their home wearing only a thong. That`s enough to make anyone want to throw up, nevermind how much it will make homes depreciate.

Robert and Catharine Pierce should confine their nudity inside their house for the sake of neighborhood harmony. However if they have a hot daughter, I don`t think anybody would complain if she trimmed the hedges while topless.

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