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Published:June 4th, 2010 12:46 EST
virgin mary

Holy Mother Of God! Thieves Steal Statue Of Virgin Mary!

By Robert Paul Reyes


"Police in Rhode Island said a Blessed Mary statue stolen from a yard did not help thieves avoid crashing their car into a building.

virgin maryInvestigators said David Casey of Johnson saw a man get out of a car at about 6 p.m. Saturday, grab the statue from his yard and speed off in the car, the Providence (R.I.) Journal reported Wednesday.

Police received a call a few minutes later about a car with the same description crashing into a factory building. They said the Blessed Mary statue was recovered unharmed from the front seat of the maroon 1990 Toyota." UPI

Anybody who drives a 1990 Toyota is in need of divine help, but stealing a statue of the Virgin Mary isn`t the best way to curry divine favor.

The giant Virgin Mary wasn`t enough to prevent the thieves from crashing into a building. How the hell do you sell a statue of the Virgin Mary? Listen pal, I got a laptop, some deluxe rims, a real Rolex watch, and a Virgin Mary?

One of the thieves was named Maria, apparently she`s nothing like the Biblical Mary. The hapless thieves should be sentenced to a few months in jail and forced to recite a hundred "Hail Marys"

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