Gowanda is a small village in New York, but Miller has nothing in common with Barney Fife who patrolled the small town of Mayberry. Fife was the epitome of the inept and clueless small town cop, but there wasn`t a mean or crooked bone in his body. Miller was inept and corrupt, and that`s a dangerous combination in a law enforcement official. The citizens of Gowanda can breathe a sigh of relief, Miller has been booted from the force.
This sorry excuse for a police officer hung his bulletproof vest on a tree and shot into it, then hit himself in the chest to simulate bruises. It`s unclear why Miller felt compelled to stage his own shooting, he was probably seeking sympathy from the public and his colleagues.
I`ve heard of a cop forgiving a man a traffic ticket in exchange for $50, or tearing a woman`s ticket in exchange for sex. But this clown let a lady off who was driving with a suspended license for three pizzas! I hope they were at least Super Duper Supreme pizzas.
I can only imagine the conversation between the cop and the pizza lady:
Cop: Maa`m do you realize you are driving with a suspended license?
Pizza Lady: Officer, do you realize that I have three steaming hot pizzas in my back seat?
Cop: Maa`m this is a serious offense... Are those Mario`s Meat Lovers pizzas?
Pizza Lady: Yes, they are! Extra large!
Cop: OK, lady I`m going to let you go, but drive carefully! Do you have napkins, and a beer?
Any opinions expressed on this website are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect those of The Student Operated Press