Satire by John Kakistos Lillpop
Should Barack Obama actually steal the election, as now appears likely, he will, of course, be tested to determine if he has the mettle and cajoles to do the job.
With what foreign enemy might that first major test originate?
Maybe Fidel Castro, that demented old commie, will arrange for Russian nuclear missiles to be re-planted in Cuba in a desperate attempt to end the American embargo of his corrupt island dictatorship?
Perhaps Vladimir Putin will try to assert Russia`s renewed status as a superpower to the new kid on the block by invading Georgia--as in Atlanta?
Or maybe Iranian crazy Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will test fire a few missiles over Tel Aviv, just to see if Obama really gives a tinker`s damn about all those Jews?
The answer: None of the above!
In fact, Obama insiders are already drawing up plans for dealing with the most pernicious threat to the new administration: The unbridled mouth of Joseph Biden!
Known in inner circles as the Everready Bunny of Political Gaffes, Biden was prohibited from making public speeches or granting interviews over the last few days leading to the election.
Team Obama correctly reasoned that even a 20-point lead was not safe, given the uncanny ability of Joe Biden to say exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Therefore, if Obama wins, the problem for Obama operatives will be huge:
How to gag and muffle a presumably healthy vice president of the United States for at least four years without using water boarding, false imprisonment, a hired assassin, or lobotomy?
When you get down to it, Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, Vladimir Putin, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and other scoundrels of their ilk are like Red Cross volunteers when compared to the devastation that an impromptu statement from Joe Biden can have!
If nothing else, chronicling the misadventures of Joe Biden and Obama`s mad scrambles to clean up the messes could bring uproarious hilarity to an otherwise horrific story.