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Published:November 4th, 2008 08:40 EST
What's REALLY On Hillary's Mind Election Eve '08?

What's REALLY On Hillary's Mind Election Eve '08?

By John Lillpop

Satire By John W. Lillpop

No one can know for sure, but it sure is interesting to speculate about what might be going through Hillary Clinton`s mind on election eve.

Is she thinking suicide? Mass murder? Acceptance? Forgiveness?

A look into Hill`s diary might reveal something like this:

"Dear Diary:

Would you believe it? That inexperienced, terrorist coddling, black community organizer brat looks like he is going to win the presidency?

The presidency that was my "inevitable" destination and birth right!

I knew instinctively not to trust Howard Dean and that lard ass who sleeps with me when he runs out of interns. They are the block heads who argued that Obama could not possibly win and that 2012 would be mine for the taking!

Damn! I should have held out and forced the issue right through the convention. If nothing else, I would have given that old goat McCain more time to figure out where is his butt is located and make a real challenge at the "Black" Kennedy.

Kennedy, my tush! Camelot was a statesman, a military hero, a man of achievement.

Diary, I knew John Kennedy and Barack Obama is no Jack Kennedy! Not even close.

This kid Obama is a good speaker unless you listen to what in the hell he says. Which is exactly nothing!

But what the hell can he talk about given the fact that he has no experience and has accomplished nothing?


So its non-stop drivel about change, change, change.

Then the guy who says he wants change, overlooks me for VP and picks that tired old fool Joe Biden who has been in Washington, D.C., longer than the GD Potomac River!

The only change Biden will bring is a loss of about 50 IQ points in Obama`s staff!

Biden is as dumb as baby poop, but thinks he is the smartest person around. Too damn stupid to realize that he is an idiot!

How in the hell did Joe the Plagiarist get into Obama`s head? Perhaps Biden sealed the deal when he called BO "Clean and articulate" ?

Then there is the Black Widow of American politics, the unlovely and unlovable Michelle Obama. I just know that this black beach talked Obama into keeping me off the ticket--I just know it!

She knows that I am smarter than Obama and Biden combined. Even with my hands tied behind my back, I could outthink and out pace those two misfits.

Diary, I know the White House! I lived there for eight years, remember?

Hell, I have most of the best White House china and furniture in storage just waiting for this sexist nation to give me the OK to take over the damned Oval Office. I am ready and able, but the sniper fire from this Obama kid is really raining on my parade.

Well, Diary I will sign off now as I need to get up early and work on a strategery for not attending the Obama inauguration or any of the celebration balls--without appearing small and spiteful.

Hell, I am not even sure we will be invited to the swearing in or the balls.

If we are invited , I will weasel out by telling the Obamas that Slick has a sexual disorder that is life threatening in nature and which forces him to stay indoors.

That would be believable, don`t ya think?

Bye for now,