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Published:April 27th, 2006 09:21 EST
A vow to staying single...

A vow to staying single...

By Melissa Austria


For many years, people have viewed marriage as a special bond between two people or even some believe it is the essential key to happiness. But when people think of marriage, they must also consider commitment. Commitment is the eternal contract that states the end of a person`s individuality and independence.

I attended a wedding last month and as I sat there astonished by the beautiful décor of the room, the silence of the church was disrupted by the noise of family and friends grabbing their digital cameras to snatch the most important moment of the day. And it wasn`t the first kiss of the bride and groom or her walking down the aisle with her new last name. It was the moment the couple said their vows. It was the moment when I and many other singles were amazed how two people could kiss their single day`s goodbye.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, a higher percentage of women are unmarried than men. After several breakups and heartaches, many women are no longer infatuated with the white flawless dress but are more anxious to accomplish personal and career goals. The latest trend could be a result from loss of trust from men or simply selfishness.

Women are becoming young elementary girls living their childhood past again when sharing was not a word in their vocabulary or when boys were the nastiest creatures alive. The trend of being single isn`t identified as being alone but independent.

Waiting for your soul mate and searching for the perfect date can be time consuming. Being single allows women to concentrate on their career instead of investing their time in a demanding relationship. In the past, people decided to settle down because they reached a certain age or all their friends were getting married. But staying single requires a no age limit and the freedom to do whatever you please so why did it take so long for people to realize that being single is not a bad thing?

Well for one thing, women no longer need a man in their life to help support them. A woman`s career has turned into one of the top priorities in her life. In order to develop as an individual, a woman must learn to grow without the help of a man watering her roots so she can develop and expand her life on her own.

When you marry, you and your spouse become one. You share the same last name and then your first name slowly becomes Baby " or Honey " and your likes becomes his likes and his hobbies become yours. Your identity is stolen and you don`t even realize it.

Living single is imperative because the meaning of marriage is dying and value of love is being replaced by comfort. People decide to stay together because of the long years they invested in the relationship and the hard work they performed to make it work.

Being single requires selfishness without feeling guilt. A selfish attitude lets people know you are happy and dedicated to take care of yourself. So if you`re single, don`t rush into a long term relationship and remember you will eventually face the terms of commitment either with someone else or yourself.  A single heart finds a different type of love "a self love that involves me, myself and I.