November 9th, 2008 10:29 EST
Hannah Montana Cleans Toilets?
"Miley Cyrus` first job was considerably less glamorous than her work on "Hannah Montana" -- the singer/actress used to clean toilets for a living.
The 15-year-old star insists she has learned to appreciate her fame and fortune, because she started out at such a young age.
And Cyrus` first taste of the world of work was during her time at a cleaning company.
She tells Tyra Banks, `I had one normal job and I actually liked it. I worked at this place called Sparkles Cleaning Service and I cleaned houses, I was like 11. I can clean toilet bowls.`"
The last few months have been slow on the Hannah Montana front, the young starlet hasn`t made a big splash lately. I can imagine the Cyrus brain trust at work:
What can we do to generate publicity for our cash cow? We can`t leak any more risque photos of Miley to the press, we have to be careful not to go to the well one time too many. Let`s hire a voice trainer for Miley, and have her release an album that will amaze the critics. Stop throwing Hannah Montana merchandize at me, I`m joking. I know what we can do, let`s have Miley tell the press that she used to clean toilets in her younger days. That will generate buzz in the media, and broaden her appeal to the blue-collar crowd.
I guess dad Bill Ray Cyrus blew all those millions he made from his "Achy Breaky Heart" days, and the 11-year-old Miley had to supplement the family income by cleaning toilet bowls. Yeah right, and before that the 9-year-old Miley worked in the mines.
Although the idea of little Miley cleaning toilets can`t be completely ruled out, maybe it was an inspiration for her music. Nah, Miley inherited her abominable taste in music from her no-talent father.
Miley Cyrus is a spoiled brat, it`s impossible for her to appreciate her fame at her young age. But when she`s in her thirties it will dawn on her how lucky was that she was able to parlay a smidgen of talent into a billion dollar industry.
Miley`s handlers must think that her fans are as gullible as hillbillies. Her "toilet bowl story" is as phony as her acting.
To those of you who are bound to criticize me for poking fun at a 15-year-old celebrity, let me defend myself by saying my article could have been more brutal, but I restrained myself in deference to her age.