December 8th, 2008 18:04 EST
Britney Spears Tops The List of Yahoo's Most Searched Terms for 2008
2008 is one of the most tumultuous and momentous years in our history; I can`t wait for it to finally be over. This year we witnessed the most thrilling presidential election in history culminating in the election of the first African American president; we remain entangled in two senseless wars; we suffered the worst economic crash since the Great Depression, and we survived oil zooming over $4 a gallon.
In the old days we consulted an encyclopedia or went to a library to learn how to cope with recessions and interminable wars, but today we click on Google. So what was the most popular search subject in 2008 on Yahoo? Bailout? Mortgage crisis? Iraq? Barack Obama? Price of gas? Sarah Palin? Wall Street?
Americans sought escape from the grim economic news and the usual political mayhem by seeking to learn as much as possible about Britney Spears. The pop diva was once again the most popular search subject in 2008. It may be years since the pop tart has toured, but on an almost weekly basis she does something totally of-the-wall to entertain her legions of fans.
I hope that one day Britney will get her life in order, but in the meantime she is performing an invaluable public service by acting like a bimbo. We may be on the verge of losing our homes and our jobs, but thank goodness we have Britney`s escapades to take our minds of our troubles.
Britney isn`t the only celeb serving her country admirably, Lindsay Lohan came in at number 8 on the list. Recently Lindsay has delighted her fans by engaging in hilarious catfights with her girlfriend in restaurants and nightclubs.
Paris Hilton failed to crack the top ten, but recently she`s run into a string of bad luck. Her latest movie totally bombed and she can`t even convince a record label to release her new album. Hilton needs to drive under the influence or expose herself to capture the fancy of the public again.
I am often criticized for writing essays about Hilton, Spears, Lohan and Miley Cyrus, but let he who has never searched for one of these bimbos cast the first stone. I`m only giving the public what they are clamoring for, my celebrity essays almost never fail to garner a lot of hits.
I will make amends by writing my next article about a serious subject. Hm, maybe I can write an essay about the economic meltdown, and how it has affected the sales of Britney Spears` records.