March 18th, 2009 14:23 EST
Lindsay Lohan The Twit Is A Big Twitter Fan
"Twitter is a social networking and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read other users` updates known as tweets. Tweets are text-based posts of up to 140 bytes in length. Updates are displayed on the user`s profile page and delivered to other users who have signed up to receive them." Wikipedia
Twitter is perfect for self-obsessed megalomaniacs. Twitter enables illiterate twits to send constant updates to their virtual and real friends about every aspect of their everyday lives.
It`s no surprise that Lindsay Lohan is a big fan of Twitter.
Here`s my parody of a Lindsay Twitter session:
Noon: just woke up, and it`s like I can`t member da name of da dude in my bed.
12:15: I had a Red Bull and a cig 4 breakfast.
12:37: I can`t find no panties. No prob, cuz I dontz wear them anywayz.
1:05: I just burped. LOL
4:07: Sam just called., sez she`s coming over. LOL, I have to get rid of da dude and da Playgirl magazine.
"An alleged friend of Lohan sent an email to the gossip website Gawker with a selection of the star`s late night "tweets" which seem to indicate she`s considering suicide.
A passage the alleged posts follows:
"should you end it if the one person in the world fails to love, hold/comfort, apologize, and CHERISH you the night before jail?"
"LIARS R COWARDS cuz they don`t know what they got til it is far gone. and people-if you love someone. PUT UR PRIDE A-"
"-SIDE AND JUST LOVE THEM BACK! do not ever dj before calling if they ARE"
"ABOUT TO GET ARRESTED FOR CHASING YOU TO MAKE YOU STAY"
It`s hard to tell which Twitter transcript is more ridiculous, my parody or the real thing. Who knows if Lohan is considering suicide, you need a degree in abnormal psychology to make sense of her babbling.
My advice for Lindsay Lohan: Stop twittering and babbling and talk to a psychiatrist.