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Published:April 28th, 2009 13:13 EST

Paris Hilton Isn't Worried About Swine Flu: I Don't Eat Pork

By Robert Paul Reyes

"While the rest of America is freaking out about the swine flu outbreak, Paris Hilton has been happily living her life without any concern about the illness. When paps asked Miss P is she had heard about the swine flu she said she doesn`t eat pork."

Reporters know not to ask Paris Hilton her views on geopolitics, global warming or Obama`s economic plan. To spare the clueless Hilton any embarrassment the press only asks her opinion about pop culture matters or current events. If a media personality asks Hilton which is her favorite Jonas brother, he will be on safe ground.

The Swine flu outbreak has been all over the news, it`s all people are talking about at home and at work. Paris Hilton was oblivious about the swine flu, she has more important things on her mind like deciding whether she should flash her breasts or her nether regions.

Everyone with two brain cells that they can rub together knows that you don`t get swine flu by eating pork products, it`s spread by human to human contact.

Good Lord I hope Paris Hilton doesn`t catch the swine flu and dies -- entertainment journalists would be lost without her