August 15th, 2009 14:21 EST
Amy Winehouse To Invade America
"Amy Winehouse is finally being allowed into the US.
The `Rehab` singer - who had been banned from entering the country two years ago after being arrested for possession of cannabis and was also denied a work visa months later after being accused of assaulting a fan - is keen to tour America now authorities have relented on their previous decisions."
Things are so bad in America that some folks are wondering if we are living in the "Last Days". Our economy is crumbling, H1N1 is threatening to become a pandemic, the unemployment figures are alarming -- what else could possibly go wrong?
Amy Winehouse, that`s what. The drug-addled singer is set to invade America. She wants to prove that our great democracy doesn`t have a patent on train wreck bimbo celebs.
This may be the tipping point, the straw that broke the camel`s back -- choose your favorite metaphor. With her beehive hair-do and her scrawny needle-tracked arms, Amy Winehouse is a sight more imposing and terrifying than Attila the Hun or the Antichrist.
I`m all for open borders, but the US immigration officials shouldn`t le this plague infest our country. We have our hands full putting up with the likes of Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton.
Dear Lord, I think I hear the hoofbeats of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.