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Published:November 4th, 2009 15:43 EST

Top Ten Signs Lady Gaga Is A Dude

By Robert Paul Reyes

*Please! Only a drag queen would call himself "Lady Gaga."

*It`s di rigeur for bimbo celebs to flash their goodies. Lady Gaga hasn`t flashed her vagina, because she doesn`t have a vagina.

*Lady Gaga`s hit "Poker Face" is all bout her being able to maintain a straight face while pretending to be a female.

*Go to one of her concerts, the audience is 99.99% gay males.

*Her wild do`s are standard issue for drag queens.

*Lady Gaga wrote songs for "New Kids on the Block", it`s impossible to be more gay than that.

*Why do you think she`s a big fan of autotune? To disguise her manly voice!

*Her idols are Queen and David Bowie. Hello!!!

*Let`s just say that if you see a pic of Lady Gaga in a bikini, you will have no problem figuring out where she hides the family jewels.

*Lady Gaga has proclaimed: "I`m gay. My music is gay. My show is gay. And I love that it`s gay." The word gay is usually used in reference to male homosexuals. If Lady Gaga was a woman, she would have said: I am a lesbian. My show is lesbian..

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