December 26th, 2009 09:43 EST
Paris Hilton's Tweet From Hell: I'm Going To Work On My New Album
"I`m going to work on my new album"
This is a harmless phrase if uttered by any singer, but coming from Paris Hilton it`s a harbinger of the Apocalypse. The Bible warns "in the last days there shall be earthquakes, famines, diverse pestilences, and harlots will release albums that will make the children of God cry out in anguish."
Paris Hilton might as well have announced that she`s going to her basement laboratory to work on a method to disperse anthrax all over Los Angeles.
There are thousands of talented singers who never get the opportunity to record an album. They tour extensively in small clubs and bars, but they never reach a nationwide audience. Gazillionaire Hilton is able to release her album on her own record label, further proof, as if any is needed, that god is asleep on the job.
I beseech the Almighty to wake up and deliver us from this impending evil. We`ve survived diverse calamities, but the next Hilton album might be the outrage that triggers the Great Tribulation.
When the dreaded Hilton album hits the record stores you will find me on a hilltop, wearing a white robe, and waiting for the end of the world.
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