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Published:January 2nd, 2010 20:25 EST
Happy New Year - let`s get back to work!

Happy New Year - let`s get back to work!

By Will Roberts

Well all I know is what little I read on the Internet and lately I have been so crazy that even I had to check the newspapers to see where I was at. Here is why: For the last 12 months I have been training and rehearsing a show called `Viva Elvis`.  This little production may sound familiar to Elvis fans and to Cirque Du Soleil fans, mainly on the count of the fact that these to huge entertainment icons have joined forces to mount the newest mega show here in Las Vegas. Plus, to boot they put the show in the biggest new city inside a city, City Center, in the heart of the entertainment capital of the world.  A cast of 75, dancers, acrobats, musicians and two cowboys, I am one of them.  Hence, the reason I have not been scratching out my column for the year. BUT, I am back and 2010 promises to be more interesting. Maybe because it is a new year? Or a new decade? We will see.

One thing that has been a nice change for me this last year was travel, or the lack there of. My normal route for the past 6 years has been to jump around the world doing my one man show `The Good Will Tour` to the tune of 200 locations a year. 2009 however, I have been still in one place, and based upon the way that air travel has gone last year I am glad I have been grounded. With the price of tickets or safety concerns things are just Up in the air, no pun intended.

The year before last we had the shoe bomber last year we have the. . .  I don`t rightly know what to call a person that tries to ignite their pants.  Anyhow, I am not sure this is a sign of radicals getting cleverer or our Airlines getting lazy.  I hear that just in the past two days airlines have gone to great heights to make sure that whoever gets on a plane has the most uncomfortable flight possible. Things like no bathroom use, no reading or listening to music devices. I even heard of an airline that would not allow folks hands to be hidden for the last hour of the flight.

If it keeps going in this direction they might just start posting signs that say "Please keep your hands in plain sight for the duration of the flight!"  like above your heads.  People get creative when they are fearful.  Mark my words that if airlines can they will as long as it does not cost them anymore money.  I will predict a few new policy`s from the airlines that 2010 might see when you fly.


Musical chairs: Confuse flyer`s

Make folks get out of their seats on longer flights and move everyone to a new seat several times.


Karaoke flight:

Hand a wireless mic around the plane and ask folks to say their name and where they are from and why they are flying to ___?

One of two things would happen:

One, every flight would become like the love boat and folks would get to know each other, that`s not bad.

Or two, it would be like a crime watchers flight where everyone spy`s on their neighbors, wait that might already happen.

I told you to go before we boarded:

Make folks go to the bathroom before they board the plane.  Ladies and Gentlemen, we are about to board the plane in 20 minutes, please make sure you use the bathroom before you board and for we have eliminated our bathrooms.

All in all, I guess This cowboy is a little confused as to why the airlines are making folks uncomfortable when they are on the plane. Make the plane safe before we get on. We have TSA, back scathers (see through your clothes) people to search us, policy`s that don`t let us take sharp objects on board or weapons. With seems silly in itself, after all if a person is carrying a gun on board these days they probably have the intention of sneaking it on and using it.

I think it all gets down to the old adage of: The squeaky wheel gets the grease. In this case if enough of us travelers become squeaky maybe the airlines will fix the problems, BEFORE we get on board.  I don`t think anyone minds if you poke and prod us like cattle as long as we are safe before we take to the air.

As much as I think our president should monitor and help enforce travel safety, I would think that the big boys at the airlines might just want to get more involved in the well being of their clients "US!"  Because nothing affects a business`s bottom line like a disaster.