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Published:February 2nd, 2010 09:22 EST

The 7 Deadly Sins of Typecasting

By Andy Wright

1) Mentally or physically challenged people playing mentally or physically challenged characters 

Keanu Reeves

These actors are never given various roles outside their comfort zones. As challenged people, they play challenged characters regardless of what the movie is even about, clearly not treated as character actors. They always play somebody with the exact same challenges as they have, sometimes with different names. This usually leaves one thinking well, I know where this scene is going when one of these actors comes on screen. 

2) Europeans as different nationalities within Europe or bad guys 

Apparently in America if it`s not a southern or New England accent and you`re white, we can`t tell the difference - you can be a European of any origin and more than likely a bad guy in an action film. A soft terrorist, if you will. When Middle Eastern, or Indian, actors play bad guys, they portray evil Muslim, hard terrorists without morals or boundaries, but when European white actors portray bad guys, they are much nicer and reasonable, soft terrorists, who we sometimes grow attachments to and feel bad when they die. 

3) Keanu Reeves in roles written strictly for Keanu Reeves 

This one is debatable because writers and producers may just create roles for Keanu Reeves because we as people just enjoy watching him do things on screen, not unlike dressing up domesticated animals in clothes and pretending their people, too. 

4) P*rn actors and actresses 

These actors are never challenged leaving one wondering how much further they can take the teacher-cheating student relationship. Maybe he actually teachers her calculus, she gets a good grade, gets accepted to a good school like MIT and then they f*ck. 

5) Old people suffering from something cured by a new prescribed medicine 

Some actors get their start in commercials; other actors retire from movies and just do commercials; old people, apparently, go to commercials to die. Eventually. Old people who act in prescription medicine commercials are never really that old, just old looking. You never see the old people who can`t do things for themselves who are prescribed placebos because they`re beyond the point of modern medicine. Instead we get actors who look old, may pass for a sufferer, and don`t seem to be stressed at all about the minimal social security and the lack of sufficient retirement.  

6) Liev Schrieber as awesome 

This is a great typecast and everything but that means I`ve had to sit through performances by Julia Stiles, Courtney Cox, and almost two hours of Kate & Leopold more than once. 

7) Dogs as lead actors who everyone loves  

I would just like to point out that a golden retriever can be pushed tot eh breaking point where it attacks and enjoys the taste of blood enough to the point of wanting more.