February 24th, 2010 21:14 EST
Lindsay Lohan Considering Moving To England
"Moving to the UK is in my near future* better dj`s/music and Paris is just a Chunnel away!"
Lindsay Lohan on Twitter
This innocuous tweet may spell the end of the United Kingdom.
God has kept Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse separated by a huge body of water for the good of humankind. If Lohan moves to England it will unleash the opposite of a harmonic convergence: A coming together of dastardly forces that will destroy Britain.
Lohan and Winehouse are both bisexual, if they hook up it will be the end not only of the UK, but of Western civilization. Let`s hope that Lohan will move to UK with Samantha Ronson, so we won`t have to worry about Armageddon.
If Lohan moves to the UK, the English tabloids will have to hire an army of reporters to cover the antics of Winehouse and Lohan.
Lindsay, I beg you, please stay on this side of the pond!
Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes