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Published:May 30th, 2010 10:07 EST
lindsay lohan

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Make Her Alcohol-Monitoring Device Look Beautiful

By Robert Paul Reyes


"Troubled actress and aspiring style guru Lindsay Lohan wants Chanel to help customize an unwanted fashion accessory -- her alcohol monitoring bracelet.

The 23-year-old was ordered to wear a Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor (SCRAM) device on Monday after a judge ignored pleas from her lawyer to undergo more frequent testing instead.
"Can CHANEL please help me out by getting me some stickers to put on my SCRAM bracelet so that I can least wear a check dress...Lohan tweeted."

lindsay lohan


Pop culture is my forte, and I have written hundreds of essays criticizing the shenanigans of pop tarts like Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Amy Winehouse, Paris Hilton, Tara Reid, Pam Anderson, Snooki, Lil` Kim, Mariah Carey, Heidi Montag, Miley Cyrus, Christina Aguilera, Whitney Houston, Courtney Love, and the Kardashian sisters. A few people applaud me for lambasting these shameless entertainers, but most of my emails condemn me for exposing these silly celebs.

How can anyone defend these vacuous celebs, when they haven`t done anything worthy of praise? Lindsay Lohan makes a mockery of the law by missing several court dates, until the judge finally orders her to wear an alcohol monitoring device.

Does Lohan learn her lesson, and express remorse and shame?

Hmm... No! The concept of shame or guilt doesn`t exist anymore, if the judge ordered Lohan to stitch a giant "S" for skank on all of her clothes, the pop tart would be overcome with pride. There`s no shame in the pop tart`s game.

Regardless of how many nasty emails I receive, as a public service I will continue to ridicule these pop tarts.

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