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Published:July 22nd, 2010 10:09 EST
lindsay lohan

Lindsay Lohan Will Go Nuts In Jail

By Robert Paul Reyes

For the next 90 days (more like 12 or 13 days) pop tart Lindsay Lohan is only allowed to wear a simple orange jumpsuit -- no Lindsay Lohan line of leggings, no miniskirts that would give her a chance to flash her goodies, no garish makeup, no nail polish with stenciled obscenities, no extensions to compliment her thin hair, and no jewelry.

lindsay lohanLife behind bars will be tough for the drug-addicted starlet, she won`t have access to cocaine, or any of the other controlled substances that make her miserable life bearable.

So LiLo can`t drink, take drugs or dress up behind bars, what in the world can Lohan do to occupy her time? Will the pop diva go stir crazy in her 12-by-8-foot cell?

Lohan can check out books from the jail library. I don`t expect Lindsay to read the works of Proust, but maybe she can begin by reading a few romance novels. But darn, first she would have to learn how to read.

Lohan can exercise, do a few pushups in the morning. Scratch that, the anorexic actress might be able to squeeze through the bars if she loses any more weight.

Lohan can get in touch with her inner child (maybe not), her inner child is a brat that makes Chucky from Child`s Play look like an altar boy.

Let`s face it, Lohan will go crazy in the Big House.

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