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Published:August 25th, 2009 16:55 EST
Same-sex marriage-- what`s wrong with that?

Same-sex marriage-- what`s wrong with that?

By Nancy Lee Wolfe (HR Development/Content Manager)

When jumping into the public arena, it is wise to prepare as one might for a starring role at the Coliseum.  It helps to accept that the Woodstock Generation has been running things for more than 40 years and they`re fading into oblivion.  The lines are blurred, boundaries have vanished and transparency is the key to Utopia. 

Therefore, confession is in order.  This will instantly strike fear into the hearts of men around the world-- and a couple of women, if memory serves.  It`s true.  If someone says we did it, they must know. But, their faces are as blurred as boundaries are vanished.  This behavior is the direct result of two life-guiding principles: Jesus saves and boyfriends are more fun than husbands.  Unless, of course, he`s someone else`s husband.  What`s wrong with that? 

For that matter, what`s wrong with same-s*x marriage?  Actor Brad Pitt and partner Angelina Jolie vow not to marry until everyone in the country can legally tie the knot.

What does it mean to be "married", anyway?  Is it still just a piece of paper?  A legal contract?  If s*xual relations are not involved, is one married nonetheless?  Is there such a thing as celibate marriage?  Many heteros*xual couples might say there is. 

Evidently, health benefits are right at the root of the rumpus. Recently, President Obama extended some benefits to same-s*x couples, but he stopped short of providing health insurance benefits. Curious that being married opens the gate to the health insurance haven.  Doesn`t it make more sense to allow an employee to make the benefit available to any loved one?  Or, must s*xual relations be documented to support the claim of marriage?  If so, it would be problematic, of course; but, consider the boost it would be to America`s number one entertainment export business: p*rnography.

Enter the Copulation Czar (CC).  White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel comes to mind.  As CC, he can require couples to submit a copulation video for review and certification.  Once the CC issues certification, health benefits blossom, and the video can be marketed as p*rnography and sold abroad-- no pun intended.  And, what`s wrong with that? 

There are rumors, though, that the real driving force behind same-s*x marriage is the community of divorce lawyers.  Statistically, heteros*xual couples, like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, are not so interested in marriage.  Living together and procreating (with or without health insurance) is more and more the norm.  Thus, if there are fewer marriages, there are fewer divorces-- very bad for business.  As one young woman explains, Just because I`m pregnant doesn`t mean I have to get married. True.  And, what`s wrong with that? 

Finally, what about those who maintain that marriage should be " sacred?  In many ways, I couldn`t agree with them more: all 3 of mine have been.  And, what`s wrong with that?