October 11th, 2009 14:00 EST
Cherubim and a Flaming Sword Can Save Your Marriage
If you don`t believe that there are two opposing forces in this world, good vs. evil " light and dark, than you needn`t read on. If you have not faith, what do you have? What I am about to share with you might very well be the saving grace of your marriage. Though my message is directed mostly at men, women can sometimes be the incorrigible. My wife and I have been married for ten years. We have four beautiful children. For me, my family is like the arc of Noah, a vessel of hope and tranquility in a tempest sea of despair. So I am constantly evaluating and fortifying its structure and edifice.
I want to share with you two short stories before I get on my soap box. My wife has a friend, whose husband`s vice has put their wedding vows through the shredder and back through again. I`m not talking about alcohol; I`m not talking about gambling or physical abuse. I am talking about pornography. Some might say? What`s wrong with it, it`s an adult thing. `I`m here to be a little in your face and say, NO ITS NOT!
Let`s call this couple John and Jane. John and Jane have three children together. One day Jane found John on the computer viewing pornography. She was upset. John apologized and promised not to do it again. Jane rationalized it by saying that it`s not his fault because he grew up with pornography in the house. John`s dad had a private stash that apparently wasn`t so private. Then one day Jane found a peculiar phone bill that was abnormally expensive. She queried it and learned it was a phone sex hotline. John claimed at least he wasn`t cheating on Jane but he promised not to do it again. Jane forgave him, but started to wonder what was wrong with her. Why did John need these things, why couldn`t he turn to her? To no one`s surprise more phone sex numbers appeared on their monthly bills. Then one day Jane made a grave phone call to my wife. She confided that John admitted to paying a prostitute for sex 8 times. Two years later John and Jane are divorced and Jane gets another phone call from John telling her that he got another girl pregnant. The girl who cuts his hair, but he isn`t interested in her. It was only a one-time celebration.
The other story happened to me at work and though it is not as unfortunate, it is equally disturbing. I am a police officer. I was in a conversation of setting up another single officer with a date. One officer alluded to the fact that he knew a waitress from Hooters he could set the officer up with. I made a judgmental remark after which I later apologized. I said, That`s not the kind of girl I would want to date. My partner then went on to explain what a great person she was and that`s when I said, I`m sorry you`re probably right. But then a third officer became defensive and said What`s wrong with that?? I explained to him that I wouldn`t want other men looking at my wife that way with sex on their minds. Let`s also call this officer John. John said, I go to strip clubs with my friends and my wife goes with her friends. We`re both cool with it. We even watch porn together.
I was a little taken back by what he said. I know it`s not the 1950`s anymore, nor was I around then, but I consider myself a little old fashion. I asked John, How can you really respect your wife if you are going to strip clubs?? I`m not clairvoyant but I knew how he would respond. He scoffed, Oh come on, as long as there`s no touching it`s not cheating. We trust each other. I have heard that a million times. It is probably the most deceptive clichÃ© ever spoken. Then I thought of my wife`s friend`s husband, who only needed to look at naked women, then he needed to talk to them to stimulate him in a way his wife couldn`t. But that wasn`t enough, he needed to feel them and have sex with them. Now he has nothing, except the guilty jaws of betrayal clamping down on him.
I wouldn`t normally have this conversation at work, but something pushed it from my gut, as if it the truth wouldn`t lie still. I said to Officer John, First of all, trust isn`t? Watch how close I can get to this line without going over` trust is staying as far away from the line as possible. When you arrest a drunk driver that killed a family member of yours, would it matter if he was just buzzed and not over the legal limit. He shouldn`t be drinking and driving period, not just pushing the limit. I then told him that he and his wife are cheating on each other emotionally and intellectually. John asked how so. I told him that when he is at a strip club and lusting over a naked woman, there is a sexual energy already in play, an energy that should be reserved for lovers who are lawfully wed, and as many brilliant men have stated, As a man thinkith, a man becomith.
Officer John then asked, Well what`s wrong with watching porn together?? I chuckled a little and told him, well John, I don`t want to sound like a child, but those parts are called private parts for a reason - they are private. It`s why it is against the law to show them in public. John replied, Yeah but the porn industry is huge and it`s legal. I realized where John was going with this. And I knew I had to take the conversation in a different direction. I was aware that John was a Catholic so I mentioned this, John, there are two forces in this world Good and Evil, or God and Satan. Which force do you think is behind the porn industry, God or Satan?? John dipped his head and said, I guess you`re right. I asked him if he thought Satan wanted his marriage to fail and he nodded his head yes`. I asked him if he though God wanted his marriage to succeed and he again nodded his head yes`.
I told John that he comes to work every day wearing a bullet proof vest; he takes care of his firearm so it will function properly and he practices the utmost officer safety tactics on the street. I asked John, You go through all this to protect yourself; what are you doing to protect your marriage?? John changed his tone a little but claimed, It`s not like we do that stuff all the time. I kept my sermon going since he seemed to be acquiescing. I said, John, your marriage is licensed and bonded, but it`s not insured. I have been married for 10 years now, you`ve been married for one, if you want to see that 10 year mark, you need some insurance. If you are to build a sturdy ship to carry your family, why leave out one plank of wood? Water will seep in slowly but it will eventually sink your ship. Why allow Satan a tiny entrance into your marriage?? I promised John that if he would tell his wife that he no longer desired to watch pornography and go to strip clubs because he loved and respected her, he would see his marriage kicked up two notches, and he would enjoy it.
On the lighter side I gave John a possible future scenario. I said, John you and your wife are expecting a baby girl soon. Imagine she is sixteen years old driving down the street with her friends in the car. She is telling them what a wonderful father and gentlemen you are. Then one of her friends says, Hey, isn`t that your dad`, as you are exiting a local strip club. Your daughter says, No, that`s not my dad.` Imagine another scenario where you are walking out of a Home Depot, tall with your muscles bulging as you`re carrying a stack of 2x4s and your daughter say`s, Yep, that`s my Daddy!
There is a reason why pornography destroys a computer with viruses. It can do the same to your mind and soul. There is a reason why the natural man would feel ashamed in the daddy/daughter scenario above. The reason is because IT`S WRONG! There is a reason why God placed Cherubim and a Flaming Sword between Adam and Eve and the forces of Satan. HE LOVES YOU!
If this article offended you, than I`m sorry, but you probably needed it the most. If it helped you in anyway, consider it a new beginning to a long life of love and devotion a gift from you to your spouse.