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Published:March 3rd, 2008 07:18 EST
Bakin' Bacon!

Bakin' Bacon!

By Rocco Loosbrock

If you`re like me, you love gourmet bacon as much as life itself. Yet, you can`t help but to occasionally tire just a bit of the mess that often is involved in frying up a succulent and savory slab of that delightfully delicious dish we desire and deserve!

Now, I know that every true bacon lover fully comprehends and appreciates the fact that gourmet bacon naturally doesn`t make the big, ugly, complicated greasy mess that regular, cheap, store bought bacon does. I acknowledge that we all know that premium, gourmet bacon isn`t flushed and injected with the artificial, man-made chemicals and excess water needed to make the lower quality, super-market bacons look and smell bigger and better " in hopes of selling the stuff before it goes completely bad.

So while it`s true that you honestly can safely, securely and sanely fry your bacon naked " when you have top quality, prime cuts of bacon, it`s equally true that on certain days you need to cook your bacon in a big hurry " as you are worried about being late for an important appointment. Other times, you have a limited supply of premium bacon left and you really don`t want to have to share the remains with anyone else, so you don`t want the Tell Tale " aroma of seductively sizzling activity clearly taking place on the premises.

That`s when you should try bakin` your bacon. " It`s fast, simple, tastes great, works wonders for effectively avoiding any and all unnecessary messes. Here`s how you do it. You won`t believe how easy this is once you actually try it.

First, preheat your oven to exactly 400 degrees " no more, no less.

OK, take out a large, rectangle cookie sheet with edges. Carefully and effectively line the cookie sheet with aluminum foil, being sure to fully wrap up and over the edges, crinkling it with thumb and forefinger, tightly affixed to the sheet, shiny side facing up. No need for any olive oil this time; bacon is a perfectly flavored, self lubricating luxury!

Now place the entire slab of bacon onto the cookie sheet, separating the strips just enough so that the edges of one strip barely touch the edge of the strips next to it.

Place the sheet of bacon in the preheated 400ยบ oven for a total of 15-20 minutes, depending on your personal preference in the age old debate of Crispy Versus Chewy! " Now it`s not absolutely necessary, but I personally like to turn the bacon every 5 minutes or so, to thoroughly ensure absolute uniform perfection in the baking process.

When the bacon has reached your chosen level of crispiness, simply remove it from the oven and serve a delicious bevy of piping hot bacon to everyone who you want to share with. Once again, sharing one`s bacon is not absolutely necessary, but I sometimes like the feeling of knowing that I have just made someone`s life just that much better. We`re in this thing together, so a little bit of sharing our Heaven can be a good thing.

Besides, now I have a whole list of people who owe me BACON! How can they deny me after my gracious generosity and spirit of sincere giving? SCORE!

After you`re done eating, simply peel the foil from the pan and toss it in the trash. The grease will already have cooled and congealed, so there is absolutely no mess at all, not even a pan to wash, if you wrapped the edges of the aluminum foil over the edges well enough, like I warned you.

You`ve just had bacon and there`s no mess to clean up. Congratulations, let`s do it again for dinner! Eat Up!

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