Well, what do you know?
I think I just found myself a suit that might actually outclass my usual purple and pig-pink pimp pajamas " that I regularly wear to all the high fallutin` sophisticated social engagements and evenings out with the veritable Movers and Shakers " and Captains Of Industry, " ya know ... all the suave and swanky soirÃ©es of the extravagantly Rich and Famous! "
That best damned little band from Texas, ZZ Top couldn`t have put it better:
Clean shirt, new shoes
And I don`t know where I am goin` to.
Bacon suit, Pork Pie tie,
I don`t need a reason why.
They come runnin` just as fast as they can
Cuzz every girl`s crazy bout a sharp dressed man.
Face it; we all know that everything goes better with bacon. Well here`s a chance to put your money where your mouth is. That is where bacon usually goes, right, and the price it right $100.
It`s called Uncle Oinker`s Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo! " I`m sure they could have thought of a longer, more complicated name, but they probably got real tired halfway through writing that one, so rather than try again tomorrow, they just cooked up a fan of bacon, pigged out and went to bed.
Each Tuxedo is tailored from chemically treated latex print fabric in one of four different sizes. Best of all, it smells just like bacon sizzling in the pan. Dry clean only.
Now you can go to weddings ... hell, even get married in bacon. Both bride and groom for all I care! Or take a couple of your hottest dates to the Oscars (not Meyer, the Academy Awards Gus!) and as for me, when I finally pass away to the great Pig Pen in the sky, I plan on getting laid to rest " on a fresh bed of lettuce, tomato, mayo and garlic salt in my comfy, cozy coffin.
Now that`s what I call going out in style " my friends!
Signing Off and Pigging Out,
Rocco "Boss Hog" Loosbrock
Rocco owns and runs a Bacon of the Month Club called The Bacon Freak - "Bacon is Meat Candy Bacon Club" at http://www.BaconFreak.com as well as a Wine Club called the Coastal Vineyard Wine Club located online at http://www.CVWine.com.
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